Christmas Treat Wrap-Up

I know we're all sick of desserts and rich foods by now, sort of, and we've sworn to turn over a new leaf this new year. But I promised you a rundown of delivered holiday sweets and a rundown you'll get. With a warning: part of this post will make you mad. Really mad.

Here's what happened: as promised, I faithfully took pictures of each and every delivered-with-love treat. I took the photo in the same spot with the same camera lens each time so as to be fair to everyone. Then if you'll remember from my Muppet Glam post, I had a camera problem. It kept flashing "error" and I called my husband who casually said "well did you try reformatting the memory card"? And I got off the phone and learned how to reformat the memory card by myself. It didn't fix the problem but it did erase all my precious photos from the past 10 to 12 days. Baked goods, kids, a Christmas card expose, loving memories- all gone.

Yes, I've been angry and hurt, but let's make the most of the little we have. First let me say that I appreciated each and every delicious sweet delivered to our family. I marveled at the care put into every plate/box/bowl/sack.This was my first delivery. I was not prepared yet, so the kids got to the cookies before I could snap an untouched photo. There were 3 variety of cookies and they were arranged very nicely. The cookies were freshly baked but not homemade. I'm pretty sure Otis Spunkmeyer made the dough. The paper plate and foil cover thrilled me. I was suppose to make 3 plates of cookies and spread the 'Spirit of Christmas' around. I had mild intentions of doing so but I never did. I already had enough treats to deliver and didn't add in 3 more that I wouldn't get credit for. That's the spirit!

This pumpkin roll was Perfect, tasted so good. Even Dora thought so.

A non-sweet treat delivery. I stole Davy's notepad for to-do lists. The bell attached to the pipe cleaner was Whitman's favorite Christmas toy.

( )
Then here is where everything goes black. Empty. Like in New Moon when Edward leaves. The photos of short bread and glazed sugar cookies and bags of toffee and cheesecake cups and chocolate covered pretzels-gone.

Also sad, you're missing what I delivered during this time period. I kept it simple: sacks of cookies. Of course I dressed them up! The sacks had a window and there was ribbon and vintage tags involved. The cookies were either molasses (for the humble) or chocolate cherry chip (for the rich).

Then just days before Christmas I really got serious and planned a Day of Baking. I thought I would make it easier and not make sugar cookies. Yes, they are amazingly delicous but they take soo long to make and frost! So I thought gingerbread would be a little faster, plus I found these stunning gingerbread house treat boxes. What would be cuter than opening it to find your family made into gingerbread cookies?! Well I was a fool. Gingerbread cookies were not faster: the dough was hard to work with and I felt pressure to make each cookie look like the person it represented. Which failed. And they didn't taste as good as sugar cookies. Some people received gingerbread families and others received gingerbread sheep with candy cane brownies.

This is the Garrity family in Gingerbread.

Now here is where I started to loose it: the packing of all these treats took hours. Over 3 frantic, ignore the children hours. It shouldn't have, I thought I kept it simple, but it did. No two boxes were the same, each having slight variations in either the box or the quantity of cookies or the ribbons. Don't ask me why I couldn't just come up with an assembly line method. Like I said, I was frantic. It was a sunny day and I had planned on having my sweet smiling children deliver the boxes to our beloved friends in the afternoon.

Example of delivered box.

This was the contents for a small family, 2 adults and 1 toddler = 4 brownies and 4 ginger sheep. Please don't say they look like porcupines.

As I drove around in the now dark with my car loaded full of 9 treat boxes and 3 unhappy children, my emotions ranged from the satisfied feeling of having completed such a large task and anger at what you all made me do. Yes you, all of you. I felt the pressure and it consumed me the days before Christmas. And I looked terrible.

A couple of days after Christmas it snowed here. Caught up in the romanticism of winter, I starting rolling out sugar cookie dough into the shapes of snowflakes and mittens and caps. So you see, I do this to myself. Like the victim returning to the abuser, I'm asking for it. And I loved Christmas this year.

No More Paper Plates

Dear Alisha,
When I married, I did not register for any serving dishes, china, table linens, etc. Young and penniless, I needed a can opener and a toaster far more than fine silver.

Eight years later, the only servingware I have is a glass cake pedestal and a punch bowl. I run with a crowd of ladies who care about presentation. *ahem!* But I don't own enough pieces to put together a nice table setting and it's stopping me from extending dinner invitations.

What serving pieces should I buy? I'm on a budget and need to add one piece at a time. What do you use most often? Or find you simply *must* have? I'd appreciate any suggestions about color and/or material as well (silver platter, white cake pedestal, black table runner, etc.).

No More Paper Plates


Dear Paper Plates,
This is why if an engaged couple asks, and they never do, I tell them to register for basic china or silver serving dishes. You'll find a way to afford a can opener if you really need one, but when can one go and by pricey china? But let's focus on the now, and there's good news. I received lots of serving dishes and 3 full sets of china, service for 12 each, when I was married. And do you know what I use the most? The plainest, white set of dishes with a gold rim. I use it ALL the time, it goes with everything, I can throw it in the dishwasher and I'm not nervous about setting it in front of a child. At the time it cost $15 a box, for service for 4. Sure now I would prefer it with out the gold rim, but it does not stand out.

With that in mind, I want you to run, don't walk, to Target tomorrow morning because have they got a deal for you. A caters box of 12 plain white plates for $15. You're set. But wait! It gets better! Many of the dishes including plain plates are included in their Christmas Clearance! While you're there and if you're feeling $10 richer, buy the salad plates to go with them. You won't regret it. Not just for salad, they're great for desserts or buffets. I can't tell Target's plain white plate from Pottery Barn's or Crate and Barrel's. They all look good but come in at different prices. If for some reason this doesn't work out, start looking at boxed sets. They're usually a good deal even if you don't really need the mugs and saucers that come with them but once a year for hot chocolate. In the future if you want to jazz up your plain plates, you can mix colorful salad plates or napkins in with them.

I don't want you to worry too much about serving dishes. You can still entertain with out them. Just plate the food before you serve it. In a casual setting, eating family style is also acceptable. But do start asking for that kind of thing for Christmas from your mom or Grandma. Trust me, they like buying it for you and it usually works out better than something like clothes. I like a sliver serving plate, a white or clear glass bowl, and maybe a tray or large plate of some sort. They don't need to be expensive or a certain brand. We won't get into linens right now, that's a different upcoming post. If you need glasses, think basic again, and Target has a 12 pack for $10.48.

Lastly, a sad but true story. In my newly married ward, a girl registered for china that was $279 for EACH setting! She scraped together all her friends and gifts and ended up with 3 settings. So sad. Her heart was in the right place, she wanted to entertain nicely but could not invite more than 1 single friend over at a time. Imagine the pressure on that friend! "Can I help you clear the dishes?" "No! NO! Just leave the plate on the table and scoot away!"

In short, buy plain white plates tomorrow at Target and let me know what time dinner is.

Note that in the following photos a white plate is the basis for each setting:

Muppet Glam

After considering the economic turmoil of so many friends and loved ones this year, were any of you tempted to celebrate Christmas in a more demure way? Similar to how the Oscars were more toned down after 9/11? If I had toyed with the idea, I was persuaded otherwise by this guy:

That's Scrooge from The Muppets Christmas Carol. A charming, wholesome movie that reminds one of how current movies are lacking in moral substance. If you're unfamiliar with the story of The Christmas Carol, for shame, here's a summary: Scrooge starts off a stingy, heartless Republican, is visited by 3 Christmas ghosts, and then turns into a Democrat. Along the way are various Muppets cracking jokes and singing Socialist messages, like this song sung by the humble Tiny Tim "Bless us all, that as we live,We always comfort and forgive. We have so much, that we can share with those in need we see around us everywhere". So you see, when Scrooge had a change of heart, he threw a big party. Not demure.

I really enjoyed Christmas decorations this year. Unlike the past few years where they seemed like a hassle, I enjoyed putting them up and I like the way they complimented my home. But! I already had ALL my decorations from years, past. I just used them this year. And all I had to buy was an extension chord for the outside lights. (No wasted money Jana!) I didn't even have to buy cards, as I bought them after Christmas clearance last year. Here's where I WOW you with impressive photos, but do to a "reformatting memory card" error, most were deleted. I'm bitter but here's what I've got:

kids dinner table

You'd be really disappointed if you knew what was in the boxes.
Ornaments for the adults, dollar bills for the kids*note that all the glasses contain chipped ice. Nothing but the best.
Yeah, Brooke came over, she said her ornament made her whole Christmas.sparkly babbles

I can't seem to take a picture of the tree that captures it's grandeur.

dream house

Dear Friends

(yes, I've used this photo before, lay off me!! I'm in a time crunch here!)

Dear Friends,

I just counted up how many families I'd like to drop off treat boxes to, and it's staggering. I included next-to-my-house-neighbors, the ladies I visiting teach, my husband's home teaching families, my good friends, people who are new and I'm getting to know, and friends who I think are expecting it. Don't ask which category you fall in. All in all, it's nearing 30 families. What am suppose to do? Give each family a cookie to share and be done? I have my reputation to think about! By chance, are any of you swearing off sugar for the holidays, and thereby allowing me to scratch you off my list? Are any of you willing to let me off the hook?

This is impossible,
Alisha

p.s. Just so you know, I am keeping a photo journal of holiday treats delivered to me. Look forward to a post about that, with commentary, in the near future.

Coolidge Cunnundrum, A Rock and A Hard Place

Dear Alisha,

Suppose Mariah Carey and some other male famous country singer moved into your ward (I know! So cool!) and joined the church. And circumstances arose and you had to have them over for a party. Which of the two would you choose to perform?

Coolidge Cunnundrum

Dear Coolidge,
Sounds like someone knows me.. And finally! A question with relevance!
I think it depends on which male country artist it was. I'd enjoy the Johnny Cash type but Kenny Ch. would cause me pain. On the other hand, is there ever a good time for Mariah? I find her music as distasteful as her image. It took some effort just to find a picture of her this covered up, plus I hear she can be quite the handful. But I don't like rednecks, twangs, or ignorance, which rules out most country music. Still, I'll roll the dice with a male country artist and hope for someone bluesy.
Is there anybody out there still listening? This is so self indulgent.

Compragging

Being born naturally beautiful can be a curse, sometimes people don't give me credit for how smart I am!

That's complaining + bragging. (Is bragplain any better? Do we like Complagging better?)

Isn't it cool when people want to brag but premise it as a complaint? No? We all have certain friends who are prone to it. I usually find it amusing and roll my eyes, occasionally it's really annoying, and sometimes I even catch myself doing it. If you're scratching your head, here's a few I've heard:
(Not said in a whiny voice, but more of an overly innocent tone.)

~(The Classic) Having a big house is such a burden, there's so much cleaning to do!
~It's so hard to find clothes small enough for me!
~I'm so frustrated! I can't find a house over 4,000 sqft for less than $900,000! (for my two children)
~It's so hard to find a trustworthy/hard working house keeper!
~Because my waist is so small and by breasts so large, nothing ever fits!
~I wish I was curvier, but I just can't seem to gain any weight. (while picking at dinner)
~I'm worried Theresa (15 months) knows all her letters but 'U', should I be worried that she skips 'U'??
~Sometimes it's so hard being popular, it's hard to keep up with all the well wishes! (That one was rephrased the protect the guilty.)
~I'm worried he might be too good looking!
~What should I do? My son is 10months old and is barely learning to walk! All our other children learned to walk by 9months. (who cares!)
~Five years of private school and my daughter still says "seen". (That was a lady who sat next to me on a plane ride once. She was priceless when it came to later imitating the "upper class".)

What are some favorites that you've heard? Are you guilty of any you'd like to confess?

I'm glad everyone thinks I'm a great cook, but it's getting hard because now people expect it.

Guilt Decorating

She's really asking for it.

Dear Alisha

Here's the deal. I adore my mother-in-law. Really! She might just be my favorite person in the world to talk to. We get along really well. But we live in different towns now, and when she comes for visits, she's usually here for days. (That's not the problem.) When she is here she ALWAYS, and I do mean always, either buys decorations for my house or brings things from her house to decorate my house with. She and I have very different styles, and while I know that she means well, it's awkward, (and a little hurtful), to have all this stuff (that I don't like at all) positioned all around my home without my input.
To complicate things, she is also very sensitive, and I know if I talked to her bluntly about this, that things would be very different between us for awhile.
Please advise!

Less-is-more

Dear Lessy,

This is your fault. Your MIL sounds nice. It's your fault for not being honest with her in the first place. Now it will be very hard not to hurt her feelings. You're going to have to be nice but firm. Compliment her up and down but let her know that you would like to establish your own design identity. Taking down the things she gives you won't be a hint enough.
I've seen many confused, unattractive houses cluttered with accessories given to the owner by a well meaning family member. Guess what? If you keep putting up the junk, they'll keep giving it to you! The next time they come across a discount ____,(decorative key holder? inspirational wall plaque? woven mexican blanket? framed copy of "Footprints"? vinyl letters spelling 'Believe'?), they'll think "hey! Old Lessy eats this stuff up! I should pick it up for her as a welcome gift for my next visit...!"
So stomp on your MIL's heart (with care) or live in a house you don't like.

P.S. My short answer would have been "grow a pair"

Does anyone else want to give Lessy suggestions of how to tell her Mother In Law?