Now We're Baking!!

Dear Alisha,

Help!! my daughter's school is requesting that we provide a favorite recipe for a mother's day project, and I really don't cook. Can you provide me with a few that I can try and maybe submit.

Sincerely,
Now we're cooking!!

Dear Now We're Baking!! (because this is really a baking question),

Take a deep breath. I have just the recipe for you. You only need one and you will only get one. It it easy and everyone loves the familiar but just a little bit richer flavor. The chewy texture will make your daughter the hit of her class. Trust me.

Here goes:

Butterscotch Brownies
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp baking soda
½ tsp salt
2/3 cups butter
2 cups packed brown sugar
2 eggs
1 Tbl vanilla
1 cup chopped pecans (optional, but I strongly suggest)
1&1/2 cups butterscotch OR chocolate chips

Heat oven to 350
In a medium bowl, combine flour, powder, soda, salt and nuts.
In a large glass bowl, melt the butter. Add sugar and mix well. Mix in eggs and vanilla. Add flour mixture slowly. Mix well. Spread mixture into a 9X13 pan. Sprinkle butterscotch or chocolate chips on top. Bake for 20 minutes, until center is almost set and edges are golden. Cool before cutting.

Divine. Absolutely Divine.
You can thank me in the comment room.

What's that you say? The photo isn't very good? I should bake up a batch so I can re-shoot the brownies, giving them the honor they deserve? If I must. If they are not eaten first.

Backhanded Compliments (Go Crazy)

"I like how bold you are with your eye makeup! And it makes my face look fresh."*

I promised you this day would come. It is time we discuss backhanded compliments. I have been told I am excellent at handing them out. It's a family trait. Most of the women in my family are really good at handing them out.

To be clear, a backhanded compliment is "an insult disguised as a compliment". Speaking for myself and possibly the women in my family, my true intention is the compliment...with a little clarification. It is not that I mean to be insulting but rather feel the need to be overly honest. "Those are really cute for orthopedic shoes!" I just had to throw in that qualifier. Or maybe I just say a little too much and should have stopped while I was ahead. "Your children were so well behaved.... I am surprised after all I've heard about them."

It is hard for me to think of very many examples. I usually don't hear the insult but remember the compliment. Most backhanders that I can recall hearing or giving are about weight:
"Good thing those pants still fit!"

"That shirt is really flattering, I also wear button-downs whenever I am trying to disguise extra belly weight".

"Don't worry, you'll lose the weight when you stop nursing."

"You don't look fat in this photo!"

I wish I could remember more for you but it's not something I think about, unless it's funny. I usually just hear the compliment that was intended or choose to remember the good intentions. In fact the only backhanded compliment I can recall being told is that I am really good at handing out backhanded compliments.

A lot of backhanders seem to occur while looking at photos. "You look cute in the photo. What, you don't like it? Because of your big teeth?" (Said when a friend showed me a picture of herself in the newspaper.)

Today I need your help. Because you need this, and because I can't think of enough myself, tell me all the backhanded compliments you have heard. You may even tell me the 'compliments' I have (back)handed out to you.

Have a field day. Just remember it can't be a straight out insult or constructive criticism, there has to me a compliment mixed in there.

*Niki, I will change that less than flattering photo of you after you call me.
I think what I really said was "I like your edgy look. It's like you rolled out of bed after a night of binge drinking, smeared on some extra eyeliner, and ran out the door still wearing the same clothes." (love you)

Just to be nice, here's a picture of what Niki really looks like on any given day.

Stepping It Up

Dear Alisha,

Your blog inspires me to be, well, more Alishaesque in certain aspects of my life. I’m a girl that bakes brownies that come from a box (and I think they are delicious) but I’d like to start working with some recipes that are a couple steps up. Any suggestions for entry level domestic divas? A bit beyond “Taste of Home” but not quite “Food and Wine” Perhaps with some presentation tips?

Sincerely,
Stepping It Up

Dear Stepping It Up,

I will choose to take the 'Alishaesque' reference like the compliment it was intended to be. I will also try to get past your statement that you think box brownies are delicious. We may just be too different.
Moving optimistically forward, here's how to step it up: find one recipe that looks good and attempt to make it. One. That doesn't mean you try to master the whole cookbook or attempt a super hard recipe, just try to make one tempting looking, homemade recipe. If you fail, and I doubt you will if you follow the directions, try a different one next time. Confident and high on life, when you feel ready, try a another recipe, and so on.

Here is how I learned to bake: Newly married, I was given a few cookbooks. At that point in my life I would find myself bored on Sunday nights and would thumb threw a cookbook until I found a recipe I had all the ingredients for. Then I tried to make it, following the directions exactly. It almost always turned out. Sometimes I would think 'well next time I would do this differently or cook it less' but it was usually still pleasantly edible. A couple of dishes probably bombed but I can't remember any. After I had a few successes I would try recipes out, new recipes, and invite friends over. With in a year or two I felt like I Could Bake. It's not rocket science. (Want to know something funny? I repeatedly spelled "rocket science" wrong. And then I spelled "spelled" like "spelt")

A few cautions: pie crusts are hard to get just right. My mom gave me her tips. Souffles or airy cakes often do not turn out at high altitudes. (I was living in the mountains of Flagstaff, AZ.) This is a fatty hobby. There aren't many skinny bakers out there.

Learning to cook is similar to learning to bake only the ingredients do not smell as good.

As far as presentation, I am not as fancy as you might think. I like the food to do the talking and I like it to look edible rather than like a work of art you wouldn't want to touch. Never serve up your food from a 9 X 13"pan. Never. If it is, say brownies, cut them into neat squares and serve them on your nicest plate. If a dollop of whipped cream and raspberries, or a flicker of drizzled chocolate, or a caramel sauce is appropriate, then do it.

Since you mentioned brownies, I will give you my current recipe, also in my cookbook. Every few years I have a different type of preferred brownie. Before this it was Truffle Brownies, before that Frosted, and I have a different recipe all together for layering toppings like cheesecake or mint.
This current recipe is based Matt's Lewis's and I found it on Martha Stewart Living. I have made it no less than 50 times.

Dark, Rich Chocolate Brownies (also called "I Like My Brownies Like I Like My Men")

¾ cup flour

1 (generous) Tblsp cocoa powder

pinch of salt

½ cup salted butter

5 to 6oz (1/2 bag) bitter sweet or dark chocolate pieces (like Ghirardelli 60% cocoa dark)

¾ cup white sugar

¾ cup dark brown sugar

3 eggs

1 tsp vanilla

¾ cup semisweet chocolate chips

1 cup chopped nuts (optional)


Preheat oven to 335. Line a 9 inch square pan with parchment paper or butter pan. Sift together flour, cocoa powder, and salt.

In a large, heavy bottomed pan, melt together butter and chocolate, stir till smooth. Remove from heat. Stir in both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla till incorporated. Sift flour/cocoa mixture over batter and stir till just combined, ( don’t over mix!). Add chocolate chips and nuts, if using. Pour and smooth into pan.

Bake approx. 30 to 35 minutes. Be careful not to over bake! But do make sure center is set. Cool before cutting. Sprinkle with powdered sugar, if you like.

Can anyone really ever say that presentation doesn't matter? Still clean and edible, here is the exact same brownie that started off this post:

"It all goes to the same place"

Trying to Be a Good Mom

The Reluctant Mother

Dear Alisha,

I am curious on your take of how much activity a child should be involved in. My daughter is ready for her first birthday. Today another Mom commented that she liked to take her 18 month daughter out each and every day to do something, and doesn't believe in her just playing at home for the day. I admit that I often stay at home all day and play with my daughter, sometimes several days a week. So am I just a lazy Mom and should be getting my baby more involved?
How much is too much, and how little is too little?

Sincerely,
Trying to be a good Mom

Dear Good Mom,

In my humble opinion, the balance between keeping a toddler occupied and keeping your own sanity is hardest with the first child. By the time a second child arrives, they go along with the older child's activities and they get to play with the older child, whether that be good or bad.

When I was at home with my first, I had a friend also with her first that would tell me about her day. "We get up around 5:30 and have music dance time where I put on peppy music and dance around while holding Baby K. She loves it! Then after a nutritious breakfast we get dressed and go on a child led walk, you know that kind where the toddler leads and I just follow? After that we come home and have a snack while we go over our alphabet flash cards. She is only 15 months old but doesn't know her letter 'X' yet, should I be worried? After that we snuggle and have child led story time, where we read starting at whatever part of the book she wants and in what ever order she wants. After that she takes a nap in my bed. Once she is asleep I sneak out to clean the house before she wakes up for 'find yourself in art' time...." Hearing the whole thing made me exhausted and disgusted.

My point is this: if you don't mind staying home all the time and your child seems relatively happy, there is no problem. You do not need to take 'jazz appreciation for baby' or other classes for your child to be happy. I think many mothers of one child go out every day more for themselves than their child. For me I felt caged in and a little bored staying home all the time with one child, so I went out and invented errands and took him with me. It sounds like you like staying at home with your baby, so enjoy it as it will not last forever.

But what do our readers think?
The little squirt in the middle is my first child. I didn't even own a body shaper back then.

How to Judge A Book

Today I thought I would treat you to some of my favorite books. Just kidding, these are books that have bewildered, delighted, and saddened me while shopping. I have tried taking pictures of them with my phone, but then I was either tackled by security or my phone was not charged. Instead these images are from Amazon, which means you can purchase these books! With all books, I like to imagine their target audience.

The Eager, I mean Reluctant Cowgirl has caught my eye several times in the Christian/self help section next to the check out stands at Winco. I imagine the publishers needing a picture for the cover and thinking "Quick! Let's get The Girl Next Door a denim shirt, straw hat, and ask her to look wistfully optimistic! Don't worry, we'll drop in a hazy farm back ground later."
Target audience: women with a pension for rednecks, yearning for the farm life.

If you liked the Reluctant Cowgirl and it's author but thought to yourself "what about the cowboys? When will someone finally recognize them?" Ah shucks, it's your lucky day.

There seems to be a lot of reluctancy among otherwise sensible women. See, she doesn't even want to be an Heiress, she shuns crystal chandeliers and decanters, but something tells me she is won over by a special someone.
Target audience: women who openly love romance but privately crave riches and pearl necklaces.

If you have bought this book, or have thought about checking it out from the library, we cannot be friends.
Target Audience: does it need to be said? Is this what our world had come to?



Ha Ha Ha Hahahahahha!
Target audience: don't get me started.



The story of a smart, chaste, business women on her quest to build self esteem in teenage girls through art lessons. Who are we kidding?
Target audience: the lonely (and desirous?). And apparently there are many.


And finally, lest you think myself highbrow, this tale: I read good reviews on a blog about a clean novel with a strong, likable female main character. Without seeing the cover, I ordered the book from Amazon, since it was only $4. Imagine my horror and shame when I opened my package to find this cover! And imagine Justin's amusement when he caught me reading the book.
Target audience: ah, me?

It would absolutely thrill me if you have read any of these books and would tell me so.
It would absolutely amuse me if you made up your own summaries for one or more of the books.
You know the paragraph you find on the back of the book or inside of the cover?
Something like "Crystal had spent her whole life fearing cows, but that was before the accident..."

*A good start but I still need more summaries!
** Look forward to a post from "The Reluctant Blogger" soon.

Let Them Eat Caviar

Dear Alisha,
I wanted to serve caviar at a buffet I was having, but my husband thought it would seem like I was showing off. What do you think about that? I do have a beautiful silver caviar dish that can be iced. I am anxious to have your opinion.

Love,
A Puzzled Grandmother with a birthday on April 7th

Dear Grandmother,

You can not imagine how often I am asked this question! My answer stays the same: Serve the caviar. Why would you deny your guests the opportunity to sample your best, to try something new, to elevate themselves? What a waste it would be, not to use your silver caviar dish. What a shame if there were no guests to benefit from it's beauty.

I have a little inside information on this question, readers, and I will let you know that this "buffet" was for a Family Home Evening group. If by "buffet" you are thinking 'build your own tacos', you are way off. Think crudite and shrimp platter, roasted meat, homemade rolls, delicate layered pear cake, etc. "It's because we were born on April 7th."

Happy Birthday Grandma!!

My Mom, Aunt Joyce, My Puzzled Grandmother, and Grandpa. They always wear masks to dinner.


For your inspiration, from Beautifulhomedecoration,

A silver caviar dish (from Wax Antiques)

Easter Reminder

If you are sitting back, thinking "hey, I can't wait to relax this weekend"! I would like you remind you of what is on the line (joyous childhood memories) and expected of you in the form of a to-do list. (My favorite!)((Next to parenthesis!))

To do before Easter:

Plan coordinating outfits for the entire family. I am not saying you have to dress like your children, but it is visually pleasing to see the entire family sticking to the same color scheme or at least look like they are all attending the same event and the colors work together.
Also, you will need two sets of of clothing for the family: 'Easter Dressy', as the children clothing sites call it, and Spring Casual. The Spring Casual is for any egg hunts on Saturday, neighborhood festivities, or just kickin' it. Easter Dressy if for religious services or just looking like you are Religious, or a nice dinner . Yes, I realize that if you are of the LDS faith that this is conference weekend, and as an overly practical friend of mine asked "what, are you going to dress up for the t.v.?" A holiday is a holiday. And it's not like there isn't regular church next week to dress up for. You will need these outfits.
I do not want to complicate things, but it if you are the mother of girls, it would be a nice touch to home make dresses for them yourself. (see below photo)

Age 12ish. My heart swelled with pride over the teal pumps.

Easter Baskets. This may seem easy, just buy a few sacks of candy and call it good! But is that really good? A few ideas: quality over quantity when it comes to candy. Why not buy a few chocolates from your favorite chocolate shop (See's)? Remember that the beauty of a candy basket lies in the color scheme: pastel. It really must be a blend of soft pastels and chocolate to look like the ideal, dreamy basket. Small presents tailored to each family member are perfectly appropriate and help take up some of the space. I still remember the teal earrings left in my basket that matched my dress! (see above and look real hard).

Make Plans for Easter Dinner. Let us say that you are hosting. You will need to plan and shop for your menu. I eat the same thing every Easter: ham, potatoes, cheese sauce, asparagus, rolls, a fruity side dish-the wild card, and Coconut Lime Cake. Do not think that just because you loaded your family up on candy in the morning you are off the hook for a dessert at dinner. Make whatever dessert you want to, but it needs to be light, springy, and stand out in a crowd, like a graceful, ethereal woman.

Plan Easter Table and Decorations. I sincerely hope you have already thought about this. I eluded to this in my napkins post, but I use vintage hand-stitched linens at Easter. Somehow I can't enjoy my ham with out them. Of course linens with a history would be nice, but in a pinch anything spring colored and delicate will work. A centerpiece of fresh flowers is a must. Again, think soft colors. This is not the time to go crazy and try a vibrant rainbow of colors! Do you want joyous memories or not?
Flowers or artfully arranged tree branches around the house are also a good idea.

Ready electronics. Make sure all cameras and video cameras are charged, have a fresh battery, and have room to record. If it's not caught on camera, it's like it didn't even happen!

All this should be done while keeping a clean house and a cheerful demeanor.

Something spiritual. Lastly, find time to include the reason we celebrate Easter and share that with your family. I think I will share this lesson designed for 3 year-olds with my family. And yes, prepared visual aids would be nice..

Now if you will excuse me, I have work to do.

Have I missed anything? Sure, a sunrise service of some sort would be nice, but it is just too early for me.

I forgot something important!! You need to take a Spring Family Photo! You are already dressed up and it is beautiful outside, so no problem, right? I can never seem to get a great outdoor spring photo. Either it is pouring rain or the blossoms came too early in the year or someone is crying.

Why am I really showing you this Easter photo from 2 years ago? My hair. My fabulous, not black (Chelsea!) hair.

Don't act like you're not getting sick of pictures of me. But don't I look a little like Davy with a bonnet on?