They're eating out of the palm of my hand! (I'm probably saying too much.)Dear Alisha,
I recently noticed myself bragging about my son to some friends and felt badly about it shortly afterward. What do you suggest for recovering from such social faux-pas?
Sincerely,
Socially awkward
Dear Socially Awkward,
No one can relate to saying too much more than myself. In your case, at least you were bragging about your child. We all do it from time to time. In fact, as parents I think it is even a little expected of us. I am sure your listeners have forgotten about it by now if they even noticed it in the first place. Do not try to compensate by complaining about your child the next time you see this group of friends. (Example: "do you know who the lamest kid on the street is? Mine!" You just sound like a jerk.) Neither should you leave yourself out of the conversation for fear that you will brag again. Also, you can't talk your way out of talking too much. (I've tried.) Just move on with life and try not to brag about your son repeatedly to these same friends.
If it is any consolation, just this weekend I attended a small party and came home only to realize I had talked too much. For those of you who know me socially, yes, it was even more than usual. For those of you who don't know me socially: I was hilarious. While I wish I could go back and erase, say, 35% of what I said, I can not. Much to my chagrin, I have to live with my words and hope the rest of the party goers forget them.
I will be taking my own advice and will try to talk a little less next time.
I have to believe this happens to others. For myself, it works like this: I enjoy myself at a party, maybe get a little worked up, maybe a little showy and chatty. Then that night I'm laying in bed, and I rethink the party, chuckling to myself.. but wait? Did I really say that? Out loud? Followed by.. ? Oh dear. And then I told the ______ story. Again!
Do any of you catch yourself saying too much?
Do any of you have any solutions for when you have said too much, either in specifics or in quantity?
To make you feel better, I have included photos of myself undoubtedly saying too much.
"Surprise! Say, that reminds me..."
."Hey, did I ever tell you about the time when, during church, Jana suggested I acted like a mentally....."
It isn't hard to believe I'm going a little overboard here.
How dare they try and have a conversation with out me!!
See the sweet, demure girl in the teal dress? That's me, age 13, probably saying too much.
I don't know why I do this for you.
15 comments:
Okay, I'll comment when I STOP laughing!!!
The last picture especially, I need to go wipe my eyes...
Becky, you are the red dancing sleeve in the picture. I'm pretty sure.
And apparently I am the only one with this problem. Figures.
I remember when I first knew you, or started hanging around you, about age 14 you were, we were in a suburban going to a youth retreat. You were talking so fast and so much that I found myself getting really annoyed. "Who does this kid think she is?" But then later that weekend we discovered our magical friendship and I've (mostly) enjoyed your talking since then. especially when constantly peppered with witticisms and outrageous charades.
Like when I'd (quietly) wind up the dial on your back in HS and let you go. Just so I could have a laugh.
I usually talk too much, but rarely sit around afterwards and feel badly about it. Maybe I should??
No! You shouldn't Audrey! And I hardly ever do either. It usually doesn't occur to me that people would rather listen to anyone besides me. If they did, they should speak up and say something interesting themselves.
There's nothing wrong with being a proud parent from time to time. I enjoy hearing about other people's children because I care about my friends and their families.
Perhaps the next time you're speaking with these friends, you could make a point to ask about their children and point out something positive you've noticed about the children. It's okay that not every conversation be balanced in terms of who's speaking as long the relationship overall has balance.
I'm also assuming that your "bragging" was in the form of "look how wonderful my son is!" as opposed to "my son is more wonderful than yours!" If an apology is necessary, apologize. (Though this is certainly an area where it's easier for me to type out advice than take it myself. I have several necessary apologies that I'm still mustering up the strength to give.)
As for Alisha, the gift of gab is still a blessing. You've rescued many an awkward silence in your day. :) Though if you ever start telling childbirth stories and lean back and lift your legs into invisible air stirrups again, I promise to cut you off. Try as I may, that visual is one I will probably not forget.
Alisha, a party or any social gathering is always more lively when you are around. I love that we never know what you are going to say next but we know it will be entertaining. Yes, we think you are hilarious and I don't think I've ever been shocked by anything you have said (of course, I am not as much of a lady as Rachel).
Believe it or not, I have definitely said too much on many occassions but the only advice I can give is to blush repeatedly and then just move on.
only seven? that's a shame...
wink
nine!
I LOVE the last picture! In case anybody thought she was EVER soft spoken, that picture sums it all up. It's so animated, I can practically hear the words coming out of her mouth.
I'm guessing you're talking about a different Becky being the red dancing sleeve.... pretty sure I'd remember wearing such an awesome red dress.
I had the same happen to me. I get too caught up in the fun and then later think to myself, why did I say that!
I so remember those hairdos and dresses. Did we really think we were so cool? Such nerds!
Hahahahahahahahahaha... that is all.
PLEASE, RACHEL D, TELL ME SHE DID NOT REALLY DO THAT!
Judy, you made my day. I've been waiting for someone to respond to that, then I got worried that maybe no one was surprised after all.
Love the pictures, Alisha. I'm afraid I can relate to this more than you could ever know...About being awesome and entertaining, that is. And I must say that you are the only person I've ever met with a face as expressive as mine. Kudos!
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