Wigs of a Feather + Complexion Vexed

Sweet, isn't it? (wait for it....)

Bonus! You also get a Q&A to go with today's post.

Dear Alisha,

I want beautiful amazing skin. What's the secret? How do I get it? It doesn't seem fair to be in my 30s and dealing with both acne breakouts and the coming of wrinkles. Help me, Alisha, you're my only hope!

Sincerely,
Complexion Vexed

Dear Complexion Vexed,

First off, tight pores and wrinkle-less skin in mostly in your genes. I have asked a dermatologist how to get smaller pores and he said "get a new mother". [I thought that was an awkward thing to say but he meant 'you can't, it's genetic'. At least that is what I hope he meant.]

Additionally, I have been in several skincare situations where everyone turns to the woman in the group with glowy, smooth, fresh looking skin and beg for her secrets, only to find out that she barely washes her face in the shower and uses no moisturizer.

Second, you can help yourself out. I turned to my sister Juliann, beauty buff and skincare enthusiast, after hearing that she has a skin care regime that has made her skin look better than any time in her adult life. She raves about how smooth and clear and soft it is and how her pores look smaller. She looked in to Oprah's favorite skin care products but they were over $200 a month. After much research, and some sampling of pricier products, she has come up with her own drugstore priced regime.
Here is what shes uses:
AM Routine
Alpha Hydrox Nourishing Cleanser- this is her face wash for day and night (see above)
Alpha Hydrox Souffle
Am moisturizer and sunscreen Combo- basic Oil of Olay

One small complaint, I have tried this product and it has way too much added scent for me. It made my eyes water. Are you listening Oil of Olay?

PM Routine
same face wash as AM
Alpha Hydrox Night Rescue treatment "but not in the eyes!!"
Alpha Hydrox Retinal Night Resque
Oil of Olay Night Regenerist as her moisturizer (see above)

Don't think you're done yet, twice a week she suggests exfoliating with Burt's Bee's Peach and Willow Bark Deep Pore Scrub.

She hasn't sent me pictures of her pores and proof, but this is the happiest I've ever seen her about her skin, an answer to many prayers.

Or if you are slightly rich, or have neglected your skin, try microderm-abrasion at a salon/spa. It will smooth the surface of your skin out and you can begin moisturizing anew.

There we go!

I could use a caption to go along with these darling photos of Violet and I....

Spanish Violet

I have been saving these pictures for a rainy day, or for when I have a tedious question that doesn't lend it's self to a photo. But I'm tired of waiting! I don't feel like doing the work of answering questions. Can't I have fun for once in my entire life???

Though I think she looks the most regal in the top photo, there were several more where she really shined. So much so that I'm having a hard time editing them down. She is pictured at four months old.

She looks like me, doesn't she?

Pensive?

I've said it before, but she really loves doing this kind of stuff.

First time in her Bumbo.

Initially, she was a little confused. Don't think I won't use this photo again.

Pre-wig.

Quality Education

First day of 2nd or 3rd Grade. Gorgeous.
(I remember my grandma took me to get this haircut while visiting her house and she didn't ask my mother first. I didn't get why that was such a big deal at the time. I loved that purse and carried it with me everywhere.)

Dear Alisha,

Is academics your highest priorities for your kids? If you could afford the best school that challenges your kids academically and also in the arts, would you pay for it, if you could?
Sincerely, Quality Education

Dear Quality Education,

Who is going to say no to you? Who would actually ever say no, academics isn't important?
I will say this, academics is not my highest priority for my kids. My highest priority is more that they are well rounded and happy children that grow to be successful, spiritual, giving, exciting adults. Or something like that. (I have never made a mission statement for my parenting before.) To be those things, they need to be educated in academics as well as the ways of life.

I do not think I would put my kids in private school unless something unusual happened. I like public education. I think it is important to support it. There is something to be learned in all schools. My favorite school that my children have attended so far has been a low income, Title One school, comprised largely of the children of migrant workers. If you looked at the test scores and statistics on the school it was a horror story. But my son learned to read in Spanish and English, improved his communications skills, and developed his social skills. His fellow classmates were sweet and fun and his teachers were competent and caring. And there was a free breakfast. (A free nasty breakfast but it was fun for Trevor on occasion.)
I also think it is important to consider the needs of the whole family. We eventually switched to the school in our neighborhood because my son had two napping siblings at the time he needed to be picked up every day. An added bonus to attending a local school is that he has been able to make friends with the children who live around us.

I don't like it when parents complain about teachers. (Those greedy teachers!) Sometimes it seems as if people want to prove their good parenting by finding fault with the teacher and school. I have found elementary teachers to be caring and in it for the right reasons. Most aren't perfect but they do a much better job at teaching my children academics than I would.
The End.

First Grade. Look how blond!

And now allow me to meander.
This week my three sons started school and I went to meet their teachers and hear about the class with both my youngers. First it was off for a kindergarten placement test at a public school. His teacher was testing a small group of students together while the parents loomed about. The parents were of different races and gender, but I was the only one not displaying a large amount of tattoos. Even the mothers! And not the simple 'I had some fun in college' kind either. Their forearms were covered and they looked freshly inked. Which brings me to my second rank:
Why so junky? Some of the parents were dressed conservatively, so it seemed even weirder on them. Has the world watched too many episodes of Miami Ink? They look a little trashy now but with only look sillier as they age.

Then a lovely Asian mother arrived with her daughter wearing a "Jesus Loves Me" t-shirt and I knew I was safe. While all the other kids struggled to count to 20, (most skipped 15), to further stereotypes this little girl smoothly counted to 100.

Next stop was to my little son's parent-co-op-artisty-pre-school. Here they met with us one on one. They wore Tevas. They smiled and nodded a lot. My kids could do no wrong. There was the subtle smell of garlic in the air. (Can garlic even be subtle?? Okay garlic, we get it.) The teacher was over qualified to sit in a circle with 2 and 3 year olds and sing songs. She also said from both teaching and "experiencing" several different types of education, "there is no perfect school".

I know this can be a controversial topic, and I didn't even bring up home-schooling, but are you satisfied with your child's education or is the grass greener elsewhere? Would you chose private school?(I don't like that I am even giving you that option. Learn to be happy.)

First Day of 4th Grade. As you can see, I am already exuding style.

How I Spent My Summer "Vacation"

I am at the end of a marathon with the finish line in sight. You see, I don't care for hot weather or children with too much time on their hands, so summer is not my season. At least this summer the weather was on my side, 70's and breezy until recently, when it's turned hot just to further my excitement for fall. I am ready to retire my position as Summer Activities Director. This week my two oldest sons start school and fall is around the corner, which is to say, I've made it. I've made it.

As a special treat, and because I love to-do lists, here is the one I made at the beginning of summer. I'd like to remind you all that I have a new baby but also an ambitious 2 year old.

Scratch that! Who really wants to read my to-do list? It was only exciting in the beginning of summer. Instead, I'll give you what you really want:

Baby Photos:

Violet soaking up the sun.

Hanging out with her BFF.

The day I was taking these photos at the park (not the beach, I totally fooled you!), BFF came too and her mom just happened to have a newborn swimsuit with her in the car and I just happened to have an extra blond wig with me. I think at first her mother was -skeptical (repulsed?) by the idea of her precious daughter in a wig, but I think they were both happy with the results.

Next to show up was the girl's (beefy) friend S.W. He knew just how to position himself.


I am including this last image, that an (innocent) bystander snapped. I love how two moms are desperately arranging wigs on their newborns.

Funny, a new mom came to the park that day. She seemed ...surprised (impressed?) with babies in bikinis and wigs on a chilly day. "I didn't know they made wigs for babies..." "They don't!" I retorted, "they're medium sized dog wigs!!" (Thanks for the tip Juli.)

Recipes:

What says 'summer indoors' more than a Smore Cookie? First my friend Melinda made these and then I had to copy her like it was my original idea. They are so good it's dangerous. I can't say enough about how delicious they are. I find regular smores too sticky and frustrating.
Recipe from Martha Stewart.

Gossip:
My sister Niki came for a visit. The one you've heard about. Pictured with her is her (3rd) husband Randy. We really liked him and hope he sticks around! (Niki- call me! I forgot how to text.)
True story: her daughter Viv came too. She's six and wears Lee Press On Nails. After she left we found tiny painted finger nails all over the house, like her own little calling card.

Advice on How to Live Better:

To cheer myself up and to keep nutty busy this summer, I threw several lunch get-togethers. I won't go into the details- that's a whole post just waiting to happen.


Reality Check:

Here's where I rant about my efforts to be a fun mom and how boys don't seem to appreciate it.

Every year I buy my school age boys a new wardrobe. I consider not just how I would like them to look but their individual tastes, what is in style for their age, and what their needs will be as far as climate and comfort. And do they thank me for my efforts? Of course not.

I have been told stories of little girls who eagerly try on their new clothes with rapture and thankfulness. This year I was rewarded with a tiny morsel. When I laid out their piles of new clothes, Davy showed a little enthusiasm and even said thanks. That sentence was pay off enough to keep me shopping.

Also, I saw this great Back to School idea on ohdeedoh.com.

Perfect! I will do this the night before school starts and start a new family tradition. The kids will love it.

This looked cuter in person.

I think this (lousy) photo shows just how excited they were. They didn't even notice. Okay, again Davy did notice that 'the placemats are everyone's favorite color', but that's it. Sure there was only one written up menu, that's because both Violet and Whitman were crying. Jana tells me that when she puts any effort into setting the table her girls eww and ahhh over every detail. What would that be like?

I did a bunch of other stuff to, but it is thankfully done and over till next year. Hooray for fall!

How was your summer?

Big Bow

Dear Alisha,

Baby girl hair accessories…please discuss.

Sincerely,
Say No to the Big Bow
Note to readers: this is my kind of question! Short, brimming with complaint, and about babies. Say No Big Bow even included links to hair-bow-challenged babies. So thank you. Thank you.


Dear Say No to the Big Bow,

I enjoy both large accessories* and making babies look foolish, yet the trend of giant, loud hair bows for babies has grown out of control.
See what I mean:
[Let's just get this out of the way, the babies are all adorable, despite the hair accessories.]

There's a baby under there. (In drag.)

I'm scared (of Chuckie)

Who's really the turkey?

I am trying to think of a kind way to say 'I think these bows are tacky beyond words'.

I feel so sorry for this (cute) baby. What are her chances for a tasteful childhood? Who will teach her?

There is something to be said for bald heads and baby scaled hair accessories. If only I had a little baby to demonstrate what I mean...

She needs a pot of flowers on her head!

I like the little glued on bows. When else in life will she get the chance?

I wasn't sure how I felt about headbands before I had a daughter, but they have their place. Let's say you are very bald, they establish a hairline.

I am not against a small flower either. Small baby=small flower.

I bought these cute, smaller sized headbands off etsy from Sweet Violet Kisses.

But they're not with out hazards.

When in doubt, keep it simple.

If you like the giant flower trend, enjoy it, flower it up. Just keep in mind this is a trend that will look dated at some point (like a year ago), so don't take every photo with a bouquet on your head.

Is it just me and Say No Big Bow? Would you like to disagree? I can totally handle it. Discuss.

*unnecessary side story: In 7th grade I wore my hair pulled back in a ponytail, bangs fluffed in front, with a giant decorative bow over the pony holder. My mom learned how to make these enormous bows at a homemaking night and I loved them. I wore them frequently enough to earn me the nick name "Big Bow", only it was sung to the tune of a 7-11 commercial that said "Mobile Judge" (does anyone remember those commercials??). So I get it.

Oh Mother

What have you been up to these past few weeks? No one asks. Most of you already know I had a baby and that it was recently Mother's Day. I thought I'd fill you on a few details, but keep your expectations low and your patience high.


Here I am the morning of my scheduled C-section. (p.s. I'd like a new term for C-section. It's time we moved on.) "Justin, quick! Take a last ever shot of me pregnant!" Here I'm trying to think about how excited I am to see and touch my new little baby in just 3 short hours, rather than 'hey, they're going to cut me open in just 2.5 short hours'.

All set to go! This photo proves my lack of vanity. The creepy anesthesiologist already came in and gave me a pep talk that freaked me out. I won't give you all the details but he prattled on about how I might feel contractions, even with a spinal, when my uterus was out of my body, because-funny thing-it just does that sometimes! Also that about 50% of patients throw-up in the operating room anyways so I'm free to join that statistic.

I am near panic when the nurse announces it's time for me to wear a hat and walk down the hall to surgery. At this time Justin sneaks the above photo. I decide never, ever to have surgery again while awake and conscious. (So that rules out further C-sections and brain surgery?)

Still I have a lot to look forward to and here are the highlights:

Hearing her cry for the first time! Then Justin brings her over for me to take a look and nervously analyze which feature comes from which parent.

As soon as I'm stapled back together I'm given the baby to nurse. All 4 of my children have been aggressive nurses from the first hour of life. When thinking about this ahead of time, it is a little concerning to me because this is what I am like:

Loopy. And they're trusting me to hold an infant?? I made Justin promise to watch me carefully so I wouldn't drop the baby on the floor. Fortunately it's human instinct to not drop your children. My face is red because the anesthesia makes me itch and I clawed at it all day. Does it jazz up the photo to know I had been puking but no one brought me a toothbrush, ever, and I didn't even care?

That same afternoon the boys came to the hospital to meet their new sister. "Boys! Put on a striped shirt, no, don't worry about your hair, just get down here as fast as you can!"

Perfect. A blank slate. What did we name her? It took a couple of days, but, wait for it..

Violet Marie

There were so many names to choose from! I could have renamed all the girl babies in the hospital. Thank you for all your suggestions. I picked Violet because, as my mom said, "I love the flower, I love the scent, I love the color, and I love the name." Marie is a family name.

Here's how I sold Justin on the name. Outside our front door I have a giant pot of pansies/violets growing. I conspired with my mom and she brought one of the smaller pots to the hospital on day one and we snuck a flower behind her ear. "Oh look who wants to be named Violet". And because Justin is a visual kind of guy, he totally fell for it.

Jump to Mother's Day. I usually don't give all the M.Day's details because one of Justin's talents is being thoughtful and generous on holidays and I don't want another mother who's reading to feel jilted or that her family loves her less if her husband doesn't bake, cook, clean, bring flowers, and buy gifts. It has me slightly concerned about my performance on Father's Day.

One thing I've been doing a lot of since having a baby ? Laying around? Yes! And eating lots of chocolate. Seriously, every day. I need the endorphins. My Easter stash was gone and Justin was nice enough to replenish. Also, he gives me roses every year. I need to get better at arranging roses.

Brunch

Saturday night Justin was downstairs baking up a storm. I heard the clatter of rolling pins, the mixer running, at 11:15 he came and asked me if we had any powdered sugar (we didn't) and he didn't come to bed till well after 1am. In the morning I found that he had made two quiches, see above, and pancake cookies, see below.

Also, lobster tacos for dinner. One of the best parts was that Justin took the little boys shopping the day before and they were gone for 4 long hours. They picked out the above placemates. I enjoyed laying around all day and being fed delicious food.

Here are the cookies he invented. I'll say this- I don't like pancakes very much but I love these cookies. I ate a stack, if you know what I mean. If you want the recipe, check it out here. You're free to try the recipe but don't submit it to any contests. Justin's sure that he can submit it to Betty Crocker and win a college education.

Lastly, it wouldn't be a Mother's Day post with out mentioning my own beloved Mother. She came and took care of both me and my family while I was at the hospital and recovering, for TWO weeks. Thanks Mom.