Dessert Dilemma

images from marthastewartweddings.com

Dear Alisha,

A friend has asked me to bake some desserts for her wedding. I agreed. I got the recipe from her and wound up spending about $50 on these things (she is not reimbursing) which is way more than I thought it would cost. Money is extremely tight for us right now and normally I would only spend about $20 for a wedding present. Would it be tacky to just give a card and say the desserts are your presents?

Sincerely,
Dessert Dilemma


{I meant to answer this question the day I read it! But then I got busy living my life, and here I finally am. I only hope it's not too late.}

Dear Dessert Dilemma, or Wedding Gift Dilemma,

Do not buy her an additional wedding present! What you have already done is generous considering both time and money. She is lucky to have a friend who is so willing to help out. Oh! I also like your idea of giving her a card saying the desserts are the present. It shows that you thought about this and reminds her what a gift it truly was. Sometimes these things are lost on busy brides.

I dare someone to disagree with me.

What I want to know is, what dessert uses $50 worth of ingredients? My mind is left to imagine-chocolate tarts made from Scharffen Berger, dusted with gold?

If you want in on a discussion on marriage (and it's challenges), try reading the last two posts on Jana's blog, found here.

O Dahlia! My Dahlia!

There are so many things I love about fall. I could dedicate multiple posts to the subject. Let's do. And let's start with everyone's favorite renegade flower-the dahlia.

Last spring, no back up, last fall I laid eyes on the most gorgeous dahlias I'd ever seen. I quizzed the owner of these flowers and she told me they came from her neighbors' yard. This is a neighbor I need to be friends with, I told myself. A few hints here and there and next thing you know I'm meeting this neighbor about his flowers. I assumed it was a hobby he had picked up in retirement and prepared some old people chit chat about gas prices and Dancing with the Stars. When I got there he was young (and straight) so there went the jokes. It didn't matter, I was wowed by his flowers. Just stunning. He offered to give me some tubers come spring, because that's when you plant them to bloom in the fall. I knew nothing about growing flowers other than I wanted the blooms for myself. I went home with a milk jug full of his flowers and the promise of tubers in the spring.

Tubers- they look like small, shriveled up rotten potatoes. It's a complete miracle to me that they turn into vividly colored flowers.

Come spring, my dahlia expert came through with the tubers so I attempted to grow them. I knew nothing about gardening then. I was a little scared by his warnings "fertilize them! But not with too much nitrogen, you'll burn them! Make sure they get enough sun. What's your soil like?" All things I new nothing about. But I attempted. I planted about 15 bulbs or tubers. I followed all directions and added sand and feathery wood stuff to my soil. It rained and rained in May, which made for "a hard year for dahlias", since they like it drier and sunnier. About half of my bulbs sprouted. Whitman snapped the budding sprouts off two or three plants. I was furious.
Here are the remaining results:



Just kidding, those are from another dahlia farm, more on that later. Feast your eyes on these babies:


This last one was my most successful plant. Or at least it grew the tallest, as this picture is meant to show you. It it a couple feet taller than me but the blooms are on the small side. It's a start. Next year I think I will fertilizer more.



Now about that other dahlia farm. I was told about them last fall, a little late in the season. Located off Scholls road just south of Groner Elementary, this place is a flower pickers paradise. You pick all you want and then put money in the drop box, on the honor system. (And no, I didn't steal flowers from Debbie. I told you I don't steal from cultivated gardens.) I was like a kid in a candy store, clipping flowers left and right. It's what I always want to do when I see a gorgeous garden but can't. Debbie has a large variety of dahlias to choose from. I go there several times during the season and look forward to it all summer.

Debbie's Dahlias-I'm really glad Debbie went with dahlias and not something more mundane like daisies. Now I wish there was a Penny out there willing to grow peonies and sell them u-pick. Just imagine how long that post would be.

One thing I will say, Debbie's flowers don't last very long once cut. I saw one of the owners once, an older man like you'd expect, and he said they used a 16-16-16 fertilizer. I am guessing it's the higher fertilizer that results in great blooms but they rot faster. Take that "Debbie", if there even is a Debbie.


Have I mentioned how cheap these flowers are? I bought all that you see here and more for $28. I could do a small wedding for $30!! I told myself. And than a few weeks later I did get a chance to make dahlia wedding arrangements which was completely satisfying.

I love the variety that dahlia's come in. So many colors and shapes and textures. Some of my favorite, not shown, are the flowers that looked freckled. Someone should write a poem about them!

I can't think of a question to go with this post.
Wait! An offer! The first person who loves dahlias enough to drive to my house to pick up a bouquet wins, well, a bouquet of flowers.

Quite Curious/Throwing in the Towel

images from marthastewartliving.com

Dear Alisha,

I am curious how often you recommend changing bed sheets, bath towels, and kitchen/bathroom hand towels. And I'm REALLY curious how often your readers ACTUALLY change them in their home.

Sincerely,
Quite Curious



Dear Throwing in the Towel,

I love your question. I am curious myself. Men, if you were drawn here by the title, prepare to be disappointed.

Everyone else, first let us establish some ground rules. I know this can be a touchy subject. Some of you may turn defensive. No attacking each other. No getting your feelings hurt if you feel that general washing comments are directed towards you.

Let's proceed. I have looked online to see what is recommended. Here's a brief summary:

Bed sheets: should be changed every week to once a month. If you employ a house keeper, they change them once a week. (Tell that to Oprah, she mentioned on one show that she has them changed every other day. Because she can.) If you have allergies, possibly more often.

Bath towels: The most popular answer was once to twice in a week if you hang them up after wards and they fully dry out. The explanation is that you are drying off your clean body, it's just water. True story: I have a friend who asked me if she needed to install towel racks in her bathroom she was remodeling, because "we never reuse a towel after we dry off". I was floored. But she really loves doing laundry, so we'll just let her.

If you are curious when to replace bath towels, the answer is simple: when they first start to look a little worn or discolored. Tell that to the pioneers.

*Note to readers: there is no household task more frustrating than changing crib sheets. I love clean sheets for my baby, but need to take anger management classes in order to change them weekly.

Kitchen towels: the most popular answer is every other day.
Kitchen dish drying towel: should be changed daily. May be transferred to hand drying towel.

Kitchen dish rag/wash cloth: daily.

Bathroom hand towels: every day in a frequently used bathroom to every other day if the bathroom is used less often.

Here are my answers, I'll promise not to judge you (snort!) if you promise not to judge me.

Bed sheets: I've tried to changed them every week but I'm not good at always remembering. Here's my new routine: I change them on the same day my cleaning lady comes, which is every two weeks. I wish it was every week but I just can't seem to get it done. I might replace pillow covers on the one week mark.

Bath towels: 2 to 3 times a week, I can reused a towel twice. And I hate it when my spouse dries off with my towel. He couldn't care less.

Kitchen towels: I'm not entirely sure. I have so many hand towels going on at one time. I'd say every other day I make a clean sweep of them, which I love doing. Or if something dirty has been wiped on it, than it's tossed right away.

Kitchen dish drying towel: I usually air dry my dishes overnight. But only a clean, never been used towel is allowed to dry dishes. After it's been used for drying it might be used as a hand towel.

Kitchen dish rag: Every day for sure. 2 to 3 a day in fact. In Oregon they always stink after one day. So gross. I've caught myself sniffing dish rags at friends' houses, just to be safe. Then I felt rude.

Bathroom hand towels: I aim for every day. With little kids, and some adults, who knows if they wash their hands well or if they just wipe them? I've heard that hand towels are one of the most common ways for germs to be spread. I have an otherwise respectable friend who doesn't even keep soap in her bathroom. I do not use her hand towels. I said aim to change them every day because I forget on a lot of days. I think I'm going to have to make it a daily chore for one of my kids.

Please dear Readers, tell us how often you change your sheets and towels. Keep in mind we want the truth. If you feel more comfortable telling us anonymously, we all understand.

Lazy and Cheap

(Not my home. From House Beautiful.)

Dear Alisha,

I've seen beautiful pictures of your home and am very jealous. I want to decorate my own house but find it hard to motivate myself (especially thinking about all the prep work and the amount of money it'd cost us...) Can you share some tips about how to decorate a house in a cost-effective and not-so-time-consuming way?
You can also tell me flat out that I'm just dreaming. I know what I'm asking might not be possible...

Sincerely,
Lazy and Cheap

Dear Lazy and Cheap,

You have to pick one or the other. You can be as lazy as you like and still have a good looking home. All you need to do is hire a full service interior designer, tell her you don't want to be very involved, and hand over a large sum of money. I'm guessing this isn't an option, which leaves choice #2- decorating yourself, being smart, clever and resourceful. I am wondering if your lack of motivation comes from not knowing what you want. I think when you visualize how good your house can look, it inspires you to get busy. What else do you have to do that's more important? You are creating an atmosphere for memories and family experiences. It's worth putting some effort into.

I will try to focus my comments on decorating relatively inexpensively and avoiding time consuming projects. It is important that you begin with an idea of what you want. This takes some time looking through magazines and picking out rooms you'd like to emulate. If the room of your dreams if from the pottery barn catalogue, fine, use that. Start identifying what elements make up the room and make a list of them. Then try and translate that to you space.

For example, if this was my "inspiration room":

the key elements would be:
-obviously the mural, (you're a little quirky, aren't you?) If you don't paint murals often, do not attempt this. They go wrong so easy. Look instead for a large painting or print of something organic with movement. I would start at someplace like Z Gallerie where they sell read to buy large prints inexpensively.
-neutral sofa, make sure the arms aren't too big.
-red panel drapes, you can buy them ready made at places like Target or Bed & Bath at the 96" length you will need.
-a mix of interesting side chairs. These should be easy to pick up off craigslist or thrift stores.
-a square or glass coffee table, something angular to counteract the tree art.
-a few red accessories
-a pair of side tables would be nice.

That wasn't so bad was it? It takes a lot to make up a room. You can't just buy a sofa and be done. Keep at it and before you know you'll have a beautiful space.

A few general time/money saving tips:

Buy a neutral colored sofa

Do not buy furniture that needs to be refinished or painted

Paint your walls a color you love

Do not choose fancy wall painting techniques like faux finishes or stripes

Pick large artwork-more bang for your buck and you don't have to spend a lot of time figuring out picture groupings.

Use bright colored accessories that attract the eye away from what you haven't done, like replacing light fixtures or painting over outdated wood molding.

Pick larger statement pieces rather than lots of little things.
If you love something you already own, by all means use it. You can always find a spot for it.

Should we do one more room? Why not.

If this is a room you selected (go along with me), I'd say you picked it out for the dreamy, soothing feeling of it. It is achieved through using an analogous color palette. All color that goes into the room should be in the robin's egg blue/light-medium blue/periwinkle range. Also, this room has a lot of symmetry. With that in mind:

-sofa in one of the blue tones OR neutral. You can still use a neutral and just use accessories in your colors of choice.
-matching side chairs in color range. This will cost you.
-paint walls chalky but still saturated blue, preferably after you have selected your upholstery.
-pair of lamps
-again, matching side tables would be a nice touch
-square mirrored coffee table. If you find a different coffee table you would like to use, no problem. At least one surface in the room should be reflective.
-a foot bench or side seat with X legs would be a bonus.
-large art work, something simple in your color scheme.
-if you're really rich or lucky, a simply patterned rug in the right color.

Even though the room is keeping a tight color palette, notice all the neutral woodwork.

Having a beautiful, welcoming home is such a joy. I don't think you will regret the time or money you put into it.