there is really no appropriate image to go with this questionDear Alisha,
I have a rather unseemly question: I've noticed many overweight wives paired up with thinner spouses, so that the wife probably outweighs the husband. I just wondered if this bothered the husband in any way?
Sincerely,
Tacky in Tackytown
Dear Tacky,
Gasp! Just when I thought this blog was becoming respectable. Personally, I don't think the husband should mind too much. What's the big deal? If she started the marriage off larger than him and he was in love with her, he knew what he was getting into and shouldn't be surprised. Even if she has gained weight through the course of their marriage, he probably had an inkling that could happen. I don't think he has a right to be bothered anymore than she has the right to be bothered if he gained weight.
On the other hand, I bet many wives are self conscious of this fact. I bet they worry and stew about it when the rest of the world doesn't even care. But then again, I am not a man.
So how about it husbands, does this bother you? Speaking hypothetically, would this bother you? Would you dare answer?
Please don't kill me for answering this question. I just ate an entire cheese ball while typing it up. At first I dipped crackers and celery, but ended with just spooning it into my mouth. I am not going to judge any one's weight or their perception of weight. But I might argue with you.
15 comments:
I think my wife looks good thin or not so thin.
Hahahahaha. . . Believe me there are PLENTY of husbands out there who once they change into their board shorts—Voilà. . . NOT. . .SO. . ."SKINNY"—they just can hide it REALLY, REALLY well!!!
I just figure when I see a disproportionate appearance in weight in a couple that hopefully the wives are using that extra muscle to keep their men in line ;-D
I respond to this with a somewhat guarded and dichotomous answer. Yes I understand that we all age, our metabolism slows, and gravity does the body no favors. On the one hand I accept that both women and men will get heavier or flabbier with age. However there is a definite difference between giving up, and "taking up arms against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."
None of us, without unnatural or ungodly intervention, will maintain the physique of our youths. Too many forget with the passing of time that one of the reasons you began dating your spouse or significant other was a modicum of physical interest. Each relationship has its own balance. There is something to be said for keeping that interest both on a physical and emotional level.
Anyway, that's my two bits.
I asked my husband and brother in law about this and both of them remained quiet.
I will say however that after having two kids, and being 20 pounds heavier than when I got married, my husband still tells me he loves my body and has a new respect for my body after watching the changes it goes through with children
Everyone looks the same when the lights are out ;)
AMEN to the last comment!
I THINk that those thin husbands may not care so much about weight as they do about height. "You knew what I was when you picked me up."
Thank you, anonymous.
Thank you, anonymous.
According to my shorter, thinner husband...Who wants a stick? Real men prefer curves.
Hilarious comments here! Im so entertained by "slings and arrows" and Jack Sprat! Well done!
My man says he enjoys when my backside is extra large. So there's that...
However, I see a trend in marriages in which a once lean lady (or gentleman) gets hitched and then says yes to second helpings of everything.
The spouse with self-control is indeed the victim of "outrageous fortune". No Fair!
There can be no romp in the hay if one is too gelatinous for romping.
Where's the thrill of the chase when the heavy spouse can't manage a jaunty jog?
*Comment about everyone looking the same when the lights are out. Hilarious!
*Slings and arrows. I have no idea what you said, and I'm not going back to try and figure it out.
*Crystal Pistol - I guess if you married someone so you could romp in the hay forever and go for jogs, that would be the truth.
Not all women who have had children just magically pop back to their original size. And if they've always been a little curvier and their husband married them, then it shouldn't be anything he's unhappy with.
Can I just say it? Worry about yourself and not other people. You'll be happier that way and less judgmental.
I see the opposite more often - chubby hubby, fit wife. I think that's worse. Women look good with curves, men don't. Sorry dudes.
Want your father-in-law comment of the day? (on seeing my poinsettia-covered Christmas tree) "This place looks like a funeral home there are so many flowers."
Aging is hard on people's shapes. It's easier for men to hide their bulk inside a suit than it is for women in dresses or skirts. Especially when women are short. I've heard that phrase before, Jack, and it sounds like you had pretty snaky, I mean sneaky intentions.
One good thing about really aging, is that you don't worry quite so much about whether your spouse is heavier than when you married him/her. It's so hard to remember back that far!
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