New Years 2001, getting crazy mormon style
I think this next question is very important:
Dear Alisha
I want to throw a Holiday party of about 4 couples. However, our network of friends is quite extensive and intertwined. How do I go about inviting just a few with out damaging friendships? Should I just invite everyone and have a sloppy party that everyone can come to? My heart is set on a small and intimate but is that even possible?
HELP!
Polly Party
Dear Polly-Go-Lightly.
I can tell I already like you, you like to throw parties. With out a doubt I have this to say: THROW THE SMALLER PARTY! Why?
~Your friends are mostly likely grown up, understanding adults. If they aren't it's time for them to learn.
~These same friends probably do things with out you from time to time.
~ One should not throw a (large) party out of guilt! (unless it's for me)
Now here's where I get preachy. Large parties have their place, each year I attend a large Christmas party that I look forward to all year, but small parties have many exclusive benefits (like a credit card?). Here's what I mean, with a smaller party you can put more detail into the party, as hostess there isn't as much crowd management but more time for you to sit down with guests, and you can serve dinner (there is dinner, isn't there?). Also when one is invited to a smaller, more intimate party, one feels specially chosen and more likely to reciprocate.
If you are concerned, you might want to drop the hint to you specially chosen guests by saying something like "join us for an intimate evening" (and try not to make it sound suggestive) or maybe mention that it will be a small party when handing the invite. If I was invited to a dinner party (please!) I would know not to go blabbing to everyone we knew about it because dinner implies not a large crowd. Are we clear? I think I know who you are Polly Party, and if I find you throwing a large party, I'll tell on you.
For inspiration I included a few party photos. I've thrown a lot of smaller parties but it's hard when you're the one hosting to make time to take photos. So next time you're invited to a party I throw, take my picture!
My question to you is What size Party is your favorite??
Don't be mistaken by the calm faces, my Grandparents, Great Aunts, and parents know how to party it up!
Me at an Easter themed dinner party. (really I just think my hair looks good)
6 comments:
I agree with Alisha. When I receive an invitation to a dinner party, I understand that this implies a small gathering.
You could make an invitation (as opposed to evite or similar) and hand deliver it to your guests. Delivering the invitation in person allows you to explain that you're hosting a small party with a few close friends. Chances are your good friends have good social skills and are not blabbermouths. - I'd get the hint.
Time for some brutal honesty (because if you weren't prepared for it, you wouldn't be reading Alisha's blog). Where I think these things fall apart is when the eager and well-intended guest publicly thanks the hostess, often via blog post or Facebook. We all learned as young children that it's impolite to talk about an event in front of someone who is not invited to said event. Blogs and Facebook are this but on a much larger scale (because of how many friends will see your post).
Here are the two most frequent Facebook faux pas. (1) The pre-announcement with an offer of help: We're looking forward to your party tonight! Do you need any help setting up? Can I watch your kids for you?
Then there's the morning after public thank you: Thanks so much for inviting us over! You sure know how to throw a party. We had a blast!
Either way the guest (though perhaps without this intent) just announced that the hostess is having a party. Chances are not everyone reading that post is invited. So if the social circles are mingled, the guest put the hostess in an awkward position and opened the door for the non-invited friends to get their feelings hurt.
As a guest, it's always appropriate and appreciated to thank a hostess. This may be done in conversation, via phone call, private email, a small hostess gift, or a handwritten thank you note.
...I've got more to this comment coming when I have time to finish it.
I remember in 7th grade, the 'cool girls' talking about the parties they were throwing that weekend. For all to hear. And then on Monday they all talked about how much crazy! fun they had.
All in all, it was tacky, annoying, and made everyone who wasn't in attendance feel left out and awkward. even 12-year-old girls are onto this social faux pas.
I am going to take the opposite side here, I enjoy large parties. When I say large, I mean at least 15+ people (20 is better).
Before my comment is deleted, hear me out. At a small party not everyone always knows or likes each other. Yes, we know to invite people who do know and like each other, but the hostess is not aware or something happens, making a very awkward evening.
Also- work schedules. Personally, I am not always sure I can be at the party with my work, especially if my schedule is not out. If a couple backs out in a small party- things are going to be rough. At a large party, no worries.
Also, at a large party I feel less pressured to entertain everyone. I can find a few people, have a conversation and when it runs dry, move to the next. No one ends up a bore that way!
Also, you can invite anyone you like and just avoid the whole "you weren't invited" incidents and hurt feelings. That way, your friends who don't know eachother get to know eachother without pressure.
Here's my thought, a party invite isn't a party invite unless someone feels snubbed. So do what you want.
I would dare to say a party isn't a party unless Alisha can put something/anything in her mouth and pretend she is smoking for a photo op.
with a friend who finds smoking generally appaling, disdainfully watching in the background.
Post a Comment