Tuesday, April 13, 2010

How to Judge A Book


Today I thought I would treat you to some of my favorite books. Just kidding, these are books that have bewildered, delighted, and saddened me while shopping. I have tried taking pictures of them with my phone, but then I was either tackled by security or my phone was not charged. Instead these images are from Amazon, which means you can purchase these books! With all books, I like to imagine their target audience.

The Eager, I mean Reluctant
Cowgirl has caught my eye several times in the Christian/self help section next to the check out stands at Winco. I imagine the publishers needing a picture for the cover and thinking "Quick! Let's get The Girl Next Door a denim shirt, straw hat, and ask her to look wistfully optimistic! Don't worry, we'll drop in a hazy farm back ground later."
Target audience: women with a pension for rednecks, yearning for the farm life.


If you liked the Reluctant Cowgirl and it's author but thought to yourself "what about the cowboys? When will someone finally recognize them?" Ah shucks, it's your lucky day.

There seems to be a lot of reluctancy among otherwise sensible women. See, she doesn't even want to be an Heiress, she shuns crystal chandeliers and decanters, but something tells me she is won over by a special someone.
Target audience: women who openly love romance but privately crave riches and pearl necklaces.


If you have bought this book, or have thought about checking it out from the library, we cannot be friends.
Target Audience: does it need to be said? Is this what our world had come to?




Ha Ha Ha Hahahahahha!
Target audience: don't get me started.




The story of a smart, chaste, business women on her quest to build self esteem in teenage girls through art lessons. Who are we kidding?
Target audience: the lonely (and desirous?). And apparently there are many.



And finally, lest you think myself highbrow, this tale: I read good reviews on a blog about a clean novel with a strong, likable female main character. Without seeing the cover, I ordered the book from Amazon, since it was only $4. Imagine my horror and shame when I opened my package to find this cover! And imagine Justin's amusement when he caught me reading the book.
Target audience: ah, me?

It would absolutely thrill me if you have read any of these books and would tell me so.
It would absolutely amuse me if you made up your own summaries for one or more of the books.
You know the paragraph you find on the back of the book or inside of the cover?

Something like "Crystal had spent her whole life fearing cows, but that was before the accident..."

*A good start but I still need more summaries!
** Look forward to a post from "The Reluctant Blogger" soon.

10 comments:

Janalee said...

I'm dying dying dying. This is 100%classic Alisha humor. "This is why I fell in love with her 21 years ago.." These are the stunts she would pull in HS and have our crowd rolling. Her and Becky were so good at this kind of thing.

So did you like that Moon Called book? "Was it as good as Twilight???" (the current standard of rating a book)

On the back cover of Master of Desire: She was a country girl down on her luck. Looking for some smalltown fun. But when Mr. ArmCuffs galloped into town wielding his sword and searching for his lost shirt she knew she had to cast aside, not only her girlish ponytail, but the Reluctance that so plagued the girls in town and find out if the steaming passions of her heart..matched the desires of this unknown dark-haired stranger.

Barrack said...

Just to get things started...Courage and Consequence...That WAS one of the "Dreams Of My Father" but I've brought in change you can believe in!

Rebecca said...

I have only read one of the books here, but I will now put the rest of them on hold at our local library. Ha-ha! Wait a second, I am feeling a bit "reluctant" to read them.

Just a funny side note, my sister is getting married later this year. She and her fiancé recently adopted a cat. They said the only thing in their pre-nup would be about who gets the cat if they break up. I am still not sure if they were serious or joking when they said that. Now I don't know which of these books I should buy for a bridal shower gift. Perhaps the Karl Rove book is my best bet.

Mandee said...

SOOO funny! The Reluctant Heiress and not staying together for the dog one had me laughing the most... I didn't get what was so funny about Courage and Consequence though ;)

Rebecca Larsen said...

Target audience?! Yes, this is classic Alisha humor. The pictures are SO funny on the book covers.

And this is exactly the kind of stuff I have to repent of every Sunday evaluating myself--Please help me to NOT look at people and automatically craft a stereotype about them. Thank you ever so much for reigniting this.

though I'm sure it's a lesser sin to poke fun at a book than a person's caricature, right? I don't drink Coke...

I think i'd rip the cover off that book you're reading than be caught reading it! That tat on her belly, oh my. ("Was she even thinking what a pregnant belly would do to that???")

Mandee said...

For Along Came a Cowboy:

Brawny Gringo, one of the sharpest shooters in the wild west decides to bargain for a wife, and offers a record price of eight horses for Minnetonka, a plain native American girl who shuns contact. This causes quite a sensation on the prairie. A year later Brawny Gringo and his wife return for the first time since the marriage, and all find that something miraculous has occurred to Minnetonka. Brawny Gringo explains that by paying eight horses he proved that she was worth more to him than any other woman on the prairie. He gave her a great gift, that of self-worth.

Heather said...

okay, I am joining the throngs rolling around on the floor....

But the best part was that last sentence, "Crystal had spent her whole life fearing cows, but that was before the accident..."

Everytime I reread that I just die!!

But now I just have to know, what happened after the accident?!!

You can't just leave us in suspence! Poor Crystal....

(I'm shaking so hard with laughter that I can barely type!)

Jodi Vestal Chandler said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have been following your blog for sometime after being introduced to it by the fab Angie Kelsey, but I have never felt so strongly about posting a comment.

Okay, the dog book, really? That is clearly for those who want to compare their having a dog to my having a baby (Guess what? You can't leave the baby home for the weekend and hire a neighbor boy to check the water once a day.) But most importantly thank you for the Carl Rove comment, what little was said, for you see, I am in Utah (I don't think I need to elaborate any further).

I made my husband sit down and read your blog, he too had a good laugh. Thanks for making our evening a little more enjoyable.

Your Momma said...

Imagine what an octogenarian must think of some odd self-help books, like "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus", or "Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda" or "Prisoners' Self Help Litigation Manual", or "Dance of Anger", or "How to Survive Your Boyfriend's Divorce".

Shiver....

Your Momma - judy said...

That's me