This list is sure to be slightly offensive in someway to most, so I offer you a tepid apology ahead of time. Yes, I know hate is a strong word, so much more than 'dislike', so I have saved the worst of the worst. Without further ado, Things I Hate:
1. Beds without head boards. It's like a person with out a head! I can't rest even looking at a room with out one. I have heard of decorated houses purposely not using a headboard to give the room a more casual feel, but I think that is lame. There are so many other options.
2. Glade plug-on air-fresheners. I was going to save this for my "things that make you low class" list, and still might. But the suffocating artificial smells and sweetness earns is a spot on this list too.
I made this misleading dessert myself. Looks rich and full of flavor doesn't it? It was not. Rather bland and lacking in texture.3. Misleading Desserts. By this I mean desserts that look really good and indulgent and fancy, but when you bit into them they have very little taste. Tricked! They all taste the same, like sugar and shortening, which they probably are. The desserts in the fancy display window at Fred Meyers and Rose's Deli, and the chocolate cake at Costco, fall into this category.
4. Sunflowers. They're so obnoxious.
5. Mexicans. Kidding, I actually have a soft spot for them and prefer darkies myself. I wish the racism could be taken out of all the illegal and border discussions. It's a tricky thing.
6. Vertigo. Or motion sickness or dizziness or whatever you want to call it. I get it off and on through the year but it seems to come on the strongest in the fall. So if I look disgusted, I'm probably sick to my stomach and dizzy so be nice. Feel free to take my children.
This next group of hates is dedicated to the Air Show:
7. A large group of people getting excited about something that you don't like. Growing up my parents would rave on and on about corn on the cob so much that I had no choice but to turn against it. It's even worse if it's something you already don't like.
8. Loud noises. They say to truly hate something you have to love it first, and I don't believe that. Unless it is my silence that I have loved and has been destroyed. A loud bang is like a slap in the face to me.
9. Medium wash Kirkland Signature jeans for men, usually relaxed fit. I know they are convenient, ("I was already there for toilet paper and that goooood giant chocolate cake") and trying on pants can be such a hassle, but put a little effort into it please. ("Honeeeey! Make sure my Kirks are clean for my big air show weekend.")
10. The Air Show. Hey! I've got a great idea! Let's gather together some pilots already eager to show-off their trade, let's have them zoom over family neighborhoods day and night, do a few loop-dee-lous in the air, include colored smoke, and we'll have every pasty nerd in Oregon willing to pay money to crowd into a dusty field to see it!! I'm sure every mother in the community would be willing to forfeit her peace and her children's naps in trade for such a show!
The End. It was actually hard to come up with 10 things. I love a lot more things than I hate. You can write that on my tombstone.
5. Mexicans. Kidding, I actually have a soft spot for them and prefer darkies myself. I wish the racism could be taken out of all the illegal and border discussions. It's a tricky thing.
6. Vertigo. Or motion sickness or dizziness or whatever you want to call it. I get it off and on through the year but it seems to come on the strongest in the fall. So if I look disgusted, I'm probably sick to my stomach and dizzy so be nice. Feel free to take my children.
This next group of hates is dedicated to the Air Show:
7. A large group of people getting excited about something that you don't like. Growing up my parents would rave on and on about corn on the cob so much that I had no choice but to turn against it. It's even worse if it's something you already don't like.
8. Loud noises. They say to truly hate something you have to love it first, and I don't believe that. Unless it is my silence that I have loved and has been destroyed. A loud bang is like a slap in the face to me.
9. Medium wash Kirkland Signature jeans for men, usually relaxed fit. I know they are convenient, ("I was already there for toilet paper and that goooood giant chocolate cake") and trying on pants can be such a hassle, but put a little effort into it please. ("Honeeeey! Make sure my Kirks are clean for my big air show weekend.")
10. The Air Show. Hey! I've got a great idea! Let's gather together some pilots already eager to show-off their trade, let's have them zoom over family neighborhoods day and night, do a few loop-dee-lous in the air, include colored smoke, and we'll have every pasty nerd in Oregon willing to pay money to crowd into a dusty field to see it!! I'm sure every mother in the community would be willing to forfeit her peace and her children's naps in trade for such a show!
The End. It was actually hard to come up with 10 things. I love a lot more things than I hate. You can write that on my tombstone.
25 comments:
Don't feel guilty about having a list of things you hate, we all have them. Maybe we could call them extreme pet peeves. Anyways I very much agree with you on the glade air freshener thing, they all remind me of bug spray and make me feel sick!! As far as the loud noise "pet peeve" How about loud inconsiderate neighbors! The other night my 3 year old son woke up scared at 1:30 at night I took him in his room to find a monstrous flatbed diesel truck trying to back into the carport across the street from my house, shining it's very bright lights directly into my sons window and roaring that noisy engine for about 25 min.!!
Something else that reeaally bugs me (okay hate) is when people think they have to tell you what they think is wrong with your children and if you only do ????? they would behave better!! It's so self rightous!!
Alisha I'm suprized you didn't have store bought chocolate frosting and boxed brownie mixes on your list!
Don't feel guilty about hate lists, we're all human. As long as they aren't personal or point out certain cultures, it's normal.
Costco chocolate cake - don't be hatin'
I hate the use of incorrect grammar. Specifically, when people use the word funner.
Okay, you say this is in honor of the air show. But really, I think you did this to honor me and my current house guests. ;-) Really, we're having a good time so far. But yes, I have some good one-liners to share down the road. I don't have time to type now (the office is in makeshift bedroom mode).
One thing that I love that Alisha hates is the movie, "10 Things I Hate About You".
I'll dedicate this quote to Alisha...
"I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh
even worse when you make me cry
I hate it that you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
not even close
not even a little bit
not even any at all."
I don't have a headboard, but not for lack of wanting one. I cannot find a style that I like/ goes with my style.
The garbage man used to come during my kids nap and would wake them up. He must have changed his schedule because, thankfully I don't hear him anymore
This is awesome. Really, I think you should go on...I was completely entertained.
The Kirkland signature jeans picture is so UG-LEE!
I think most of your hates are on my list as well. I find I'm increasingly more annoyed with them the older I get, too.
Right now, I would add "pampered chef"...one more invite and I'm gonna scream. Those recipes are horrid.
ten hates, specifically fashion hates...
1. coach bags, specifically the onces with C's plastered all over them.
2. ugg boots
3. anything ed hardy/affliction
4. guys with blonde highlights (it always looks like there are random blotches of blonde on their head, never looks like actual highlights) and girls with highlights that look like zebra stripes who usually wear too much black eyeliner
5. those dresses (usually some sort of cheap stretchy material) that are loose and drapey on top, usually with some sort of cowl neck, and tight on the bottom, usually very short.
6. acid washed jeans (i can't believe they are back...actually, i can)
7. people who unnecessarily get all decked out in camping gear - dude, it's just a farmers market, not the grand canyon.
8. crocs for anyone over the age of ten
9. kate gosselin-esque haircuts
10. shirts and dresses that have that print that looks like it was done while the shirt was randomly folded...so tacky, it's like the new tie-dye, and the material used is always really frumpy looking, never flattering
I hate it when people can't and/or won't use correct grammar and spelling. In a world where even blogger is equipped with spell check, it boggles my mind. Read over what you wrote and correct it if necessary. Not correcting it makes you look uneducated, even if you are an intelligent, successful person.
Thank you Alisha. I love air-show week just because I get to hear your hilarious complaints about the annual event.
I liked this hater post. So funny. I only wish I could see your mimicking in person.
I love hate lists too!
I also couldn't agree more about the kirkland pants. So many levels of wrongness (jean shorts on men? yuck!). I can't begin to tell you how many ruined first impressions I've had from those shorts.
What's wrong with sunflowers? That's completely botanist!
I really hate Nazis. And Jews. And Christians, Muslims, Hindis, Daoists, Bhuddists, Atheists, Agnostics and Hippies. But not you Alisha, I like you.
I agree, Vertigo sucked. North by Northwest was sooooo much better.
I'm sitting here in my husbands KIRKLAND JEANS , while I take a nice whiff of the glade plug in air freshener - all while watching "ten things I hate about you" eating a sam's club chocolate cake(mmmm). I plan on making "MEXICAN tacos, rather than NAVAJO tacos" for dinner. Then, I will dream a little dream on my fluffy memory foam bed with no headboard..SOUNDS LIKE HEAVEN ON EARTH.
I will add PT cruisers and those cars that look like them (HHRs??). Not only are they aesthetically displeasing, but the drivers are (almost always) obnoxious snowbirds who think they have a sporty car, or equally annoying drivers. (example: our neighbor who drives one LOVES cats... Need I say more?)
I think you hate that costco cake because you have no choice but to turn against it - like the corn on the cob - when you see people crazing over something (from Costco, no less) your sensors starts bleeping to Alert Alert Must Not Follow Must Not Follow. I have those same sensors too.
But I bet if I put it in front of you disguised as something homemade, crafted from the finest, rarest ingredients, you'd be stuffing your (fat little) face and saying "This is fantastic!!!"
I knew the chocolate cake comment would be the most upsetting. It's not the worst cake in the world. It's just that if I am going to eat a rich, fatty cake, it had better be Amazing. And the Costco Cake doesn't live up to the hype for me.
Thanks, now I want to bake and eat chocolate cake.
Carrie, I like your list.
So many funny comments! I like hearing what you all hate. So sweet.
I hate when people slip in negative political comments, expecting you to share their opinion. "That shirt is like Obama's health care plan"! Your analogy has failed, and now you're annoying me.
I hate when people apply psychological labels to everyone they know. Not everyone is bipolar, ADHD, OCD, clinically depressed, narcissistic, or suffering from a variety of Freudian complexes. These diagnosis should come from a PSYCHOLOGIST, and not from a friend or family member.
I hate Farmville.
I hate talking on the phone.
I hate fad diets that are obviously unhealthy. If you wouldn't consider it a healthy lifestyle for your children, you shouldn't be doing it to your own body.
i like nicole's list.
Wow. How has this post been here for a week and I not notice. Well, I notice it now. And I absolutely love that your first thing is no headboard... We have no headboard. haha. But I want one. Does that count? And I completely agree with the deceiving desserts. If I am going to eat something that looks amazing, it better taste it too!
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