Dear Alisha,
I have a daughter... She is beautiful... She is 12 .. She has green eyes & is charming like her Mother, me! I have one tiny little problem. She wants to wear black eye liner around her entire beautiful green eyes, which gives the effect that she just stepped out of a boxing ring.
Did I mention, she has beautiful green eyes? I don't understand how she leaves for school in the morning looking like Snow Whites twin sister & come home looking like she & old Mich-ee Tyson had a show-down on the front lawn of the Church.
Sincerely,
M.A.B.E (Mothers against Black Eyes)
The expression on her face could be a little more innocent, but the makeup looks age appropriate.It sounds like Mother is prone to dramatic writing.
I smell two questions here, or a question within a question.
Question #1- Is it appropriate for my 12 year daughter to wear heavy black eye makeup?
I am sure you have already noticed this, but eyeliner makes young girls looks much older. And naughtier. I agree that 12 is suitable age for a girl to start wearing makeup, but I think she should wait a couple of years on the eyeliner. I am tempted, itchy in fact, to hop up on my soap box and go on about young girls growing up too fast and the danger and tragedy of it, but, no, there, I've suppressed it. It maybe close to impossible to revoke a privilege, but see if you can flatter her into wearing simply mascara and blush, maybe some shadow, for now.
Question #2- How do I get black eyeliner to stay on without smearing?
Now this is an easy one. I have experienced the bad that I might know the good. After runny eyeliner followed by years of wearing liquid liner (doesn't run too bad but is difficult to apply), I have found my solution. It's called Smudge Pots by Stila. I use a narrow synthetic liner-brush to apply the color. It dries almost instantly and stays put better than anything else I have tried. You can buy it at Sephora, costs $18, and lasts a pretty long time.
A water-proof mascara helps too.
Good luck.
Wait, let's see here, a question..
Readers, I've given my humble opinion, what do you think is an appropriate age for girls to start wearing heavy makeup?
Warning, if you say "when ever she feels like it", I will disagree with you.
16 comments:
i think twelve is a great age for girls to start wearing make-up, and i also think your daughter will grow out of her black-eye tendencies. i'm not a mother, but i did recently leave teenage-ville; i think she will grow out of it as she learns the value in balancing age-appropriate make-up with finding the look she wants. until then, best of luck :)
Alisha, I like your idea of giving her another, more tasteful option of black eyeliner. Besides, what's going to stop her from putting it on after she leaves the house? Get a picture of Snooki and a picture of someone else how is wearing black eyeliner nicely. Ask her who she thinks looks better. If she say Snooki, then I got nothing.
Alisha, is that you on the right in the last picture?
What young girl doesn't have a few mistakes when first learning to do make up? My guess is the more the mom fights it, the more the teenager is going to wear black eyeliner. It is probably just a phase and a new "cool" way for this girl to express herself. Her friends are probably wearing black eyeliner too.
That being said, black eyeliner definitely makes young girls look older, and not in a "cool 16 year old" way, but definitely in a "I don't know what I'm doing or what te purpose of make up is"
I would take the teenager and a couple of her friends to sephora and have their make up done. It will be a fun activity for them and give them new ideas on how o do their make up
I think I was 14 when I started wearing make-up. I think that 13-14 is a good age to start & I have to agree that starting with masacara * blush is a good start.
Eh... 12 is the earliest, in my opinion. I think I started wearing eye shadow in 8th grade.
I agree that the eyeliner is a phase for most girls, but not all. Some wear heavy eye-liner for decades to come. I too agree that the mother should take her teenager to a decent make up place and have a professional show her how it's done. I really like Origins because they make me look natural yet way prettier :)
I agree with the comment about "the more the mom fights it, the more the teenager is going to wear black eyeliner". If you are serious about making a statement or giving valuable direction to your daughter then I would suggest taking her to someone who knows how to apply makeup tastefully (probably professionally).
This will a) show your daughter that you are invested in her completely (including outward appearances, which is what they are the most focused on at this age–unfortunately, but that is just how it is) and b) show that you are truly taking her seriously.
I wouldn't do a "comparison" angle, because I honestly do not want my daughter (who thankfully has another 5 1/2 years to go before I get to this age) to ever compare herself to someone else (i.e. physically, intellectually, spiritually, etc.). She needs to be the best person or "version" of herself, which is where she will find true confidence in herself and not be swayed by "fads" or "gimmicks" (the "Snooki" image is a gimmick for high ratings in hte reality t.v. world, but unfortunately no one bothered to tell Snooki).
Of course I believe each Mom knows their child best, so whatever you feel will truly send the desired message straight home to her is definitely the best decision.
I told my daughter she can start wearing make-up when she is 12. I can only hope she doesn't have the awkward experimental phases like wanting to wear lots of black eyeliner (or electric blue eyeliner and mascara as I did), but hopefully I can encourage her to tame it down a bit. I've already told her if she ever goes goth then I will too (that should discourage her but if not I am willing to try it). I like the idea of taking her to a professional to have her make-up done.
I'm 12 and I think you should wait until you're 14 to wear makeup because people will get used to you having makeup on and when you don't, then you look hideous. And I think it's a ridunkulous age to even start thinking about that.
I know two sisters who are 14 and 15 and they don't wear makeup and they look perfectly beautiful. If you put on really thick eyeliner it sorta looks like you're goth. No offense to you thick eyeliner wearers.
One question you have to ask her is why does she think black eyeliner looks good on anyone! Does she have a friend that wears it? Or a favorite singer or star? If she'll listen and take some advice on what makeup would look best for her coloring and age maybe that will help change her mind.
I have very green eyes and black eyeliner is definitly the wrong color!! A smoky purple does a much better job at bringing out your pretty green eyes. But wait till you're 14 for the eye liner, and make sure it's waterproof and applied very thin! At 12 you really shouldn't wear much make-up, unless you're blonde hair with blonde eyebrows and eyelashes.
My daughter is turning 11 next month. She's a blonde, she's luckier than I was, her eyelashes and eyebrows are a little darker than mine. (Mine are very blonde) I told her that she could wear a brown mascara and eyebrow makeup if she wants, a little tinted lipgloss as well.
But the point of makeup to begin with is to enhance you features not disguise them! You (she) definitly does not want to look like a clown or goth or gangster at only 12years old or anytime really! You (she)want to be your best self!
My daughter is 15 turning 16 in NOV, she was into the whole goth look, being there myself I understand her need to find identity. So, I let her play with her look, in time she grew out of it and now has opted to show her beautiful baby browns with very natural makeup. What a change, when u let them have free reign. Sooner or later they get tired of the thick black goth look.
the girl probably does her makeup like that because it's the style, not because it's flattering. you know, like most trends.
this from a girl who wore rainbow clown makeup everyday when she was 12. big mistake wearing makeup at 12. should've waited until I was 14 or so. But it's good for a laugh now, so I guess it was worth it.
I never wore make up in high school, but maybe some lip gloss. A little bit in college, and really got into experimenting with it when I was in the work force. But now motherhood has kicked in and I don't even really wear it. And really forgot how to apply eyeshadow very well.
I don't think I will let my daughter wear makeup at age 12, my niece is 12 right now, and I think lip gloss is good enough, for some girly shimmer. It's all experimental I'm sure, fun and trendy. I think makeup is part of growing up, and I agree with Alisha, they don't need to grow up so quickly. Plus, why would you want your kids to clog their pores. Which reminds me, some girls by high school, had like huge ugly pores on their face. Foundation, powder, blush...yuck! There face have no sun, and without it, they look pretty awful. Kinda like pale and green. I'm glad I'm not dependent on it. I think the degree of makeup depends on age and occasion.
Since you didn't set any parameters, it wouldn't be good to fight it. Especially when they are in Junior High, you'll never know when they are going to flip on you.
Lien
just part of my growning fan base.
I did the black eyeliner thing when I was about 14. Like Jana said, it's probably just her friends or just the trend that she's trying to follow.
I'm trying to think back to that tender age of 12 -- I did wear a little makeup back then. But my mom wasn't much help. I think if she had taken some real mother-daughter time with me, maybe took me shopping for some nice makeup (Covergirl at Wal-Mart doesn't count.) I would have been easier to talk to. I was just trying to be like the other girls at school too.
Good luck!
PAYBACK!! .......is so great
Beware! Black eyeliner can be VERY addicting. I discovered black eyeliner at age 13, and about 17 years later I'm still going strong. Feel naked without it. Keeping it in place is definitely a daily struggle though. Going to try the Stilla pot when my liner runs out!
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