Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mama Knew Best

from deorativepackingblog.om


Dear Alisha,

You seem to appreciate the finer traditions of generations past. Not only do you love vintage classics, like our mothers and grandmothers before us, you wear a hostess apron on weekday afternoons, set your dinner table with full and proper place settings, and don lipstick and heels to walk to the mailbox. So I have to wonder – what’s your opinion on the traditional Mother’s Day corsage?

When I was a kid, if a mother came to church without a corsage from her children, the whole family went on everybody’s prayer list. Now I live out West and almost nobody buys one. What happened? Is this something the pioneers left behind when they crossed the plains? I understand that with a wave of an unmanicured hand, they turned in their ruffled aprons, tossed out their Revlon “Love That Red,” and took up wearing sensible shoes? But why get rid of the flowers, especially when they’re a tribute to a woman’s own mother? (Here’s how it works. You choose the flowers for your mother’s corsage based on whether her mother is living or dead. If her mother is living, she wears roses in pink or red. If her mother has crossed over, she wears white or yellow roses or an orchid.)


In truth, I’m not sure how I feel about wearing a real flower. Though I love my cardigans with fabric corsages. Just wanted your opinion. And maybe your mom’s. And your aunt’s. And your favorite aunt’s. And your real favorite aunt’s. And your grandma with the big rings. Your family is so entertaining!


Sincerely,
Mama Knew Best



Dear Mama Knew Best,

First let me kiss your precious, sweet cheeks. You envision me living the life that I imagine myself to live. I would love to be the woman that saunters off to check her mail while wearing lipstick and heels in a seasonal day dress. In reality I slump over in jeans, wedges, and minimal makeup. Maybe once a week do I come close to achieving the grooming standards of a 1950's mom during the day. So thank you. Thank you.

Back to your question: I love old fashioned corsages!! I love almost anything with fresh flowers. On mother's day it seems fitting to be framed and garnished in a fresh flower or three. So why has this tradition been faltering? Growing up my mother usually had a flower corsage. I don't think my father put a lot of effort into planning and arranging it but rather he was at the grocery store on Saturday night before Mother's Day, there would be a stack near the registers to remind him and he would snatch one up. While we could blame the grocery stores for not stocking them this time of year like they use to, I am sure they'd say they ceased because lack of demand. Maybe corsages started to look frumpy or old fashioned in the wrong way to some? Maybe the new, independent woman wants her flowers on the table and not burdening her body? Maybe like other "hassles" such as up-dos, ironing, or hand written cards, we decided to simplify?

I will tell you this: I will proudly wear a corsage this Mother's Day. Either pinned to a sweater or adorning my wrist, I will flaunt my feminine but ruling status as Mother. Other acceptable options would be flaunting a new piece of jewelery with a gem the size of a small flower bud.

I will admit this: if I were a man I would a little overwhelmed by trying to meet all the Mother's Day Expectations. Breakfast in bed, flowers and/or corsage, dinner, taking care if the kids, giving mom 'the day off', sentimental card, a meaningful gift, and if you don't do it than it says you don't appreciate your wife. *sigh* [What I really want for Mother's Day is a clean house and to sleep in that morning. I wouldn't turn a gift down. Plus now I've committed myself to wearing a corsage... Poor Justin.]

I think I'll do a post about what we don't want for Mother's Day. (Messy kitchens and lengthy talks about what other incredible mothers are doing that you are not.)

Thank you for the lesson on what the colors of corsages mean. I love that it is to honor your own mother!

So how about it reader: what happened to corsages? Would you wear one? Family, we expect answers from you especially.

Predictably, Etsy is just crawling with felt wool corsages. Here are a few non-perishable corsages:


Vintage silk flowers from Esty seller Songsfromtheheart.


Velvet Violets from Etsy seller Collageartstudio.


If you like a little whacky with your vintage, from etsy seller dime store delights.



I would wear these red velvet flowers from seller beckonline.


If want to make your own corsage and don't mind wearing coffee filters, fancifultwist.com has instructions for you.

These next two are perishable. I love how arranged flowers are kept in the refrigerator until needed and when you go to get them out the fridge smells like green flowers.

From FTD , I can almost smell "Enchantment".

Men, don't be offended if your wife picks off shiny ribbon before wearing the corsage you give her. Women, do not point it out if your corsage doesn't match your outfit. Wear it anyways or change your clothes.

Fresh and springy from westvanflorist.com


14 comments:

megan said...

I would wear one in a heart beat. My mom had one every mothers day ( my dad was really good with stuff like that). However, as sweet as my husband is, he does not think of things like flowers, and even gets a little offended if I bring those topics up. He is very sweet in other ways, I'm not trying to bash him

Rachel D said...

Since I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me knows I'm the one who wrote this, I won't try to answer anonymously.

I love the photos you found. I'm not a fan of corsages with overpowering amounts of baby's breath - the photos at the very top and very bottom of your post are great - and no baby's breath.

In my mind, part of the charm of Mother's Day is for the fathers to knock themselves out a bit. Don't get me wrong, Ben's really helpful at home. But the responsibilities of cooking meals, caring for the children, and picking up the house can be a bit overwhelming and tiresome. I'm glad Ben takes over every once in a while so that he knows how much of an effort it is and he appreciates the days when I take care of these things for him.

Alisha, no need to be modest. I have seen you many times during the day wearing a hostess apron, probably even with pearls.

Your Favorite Aunt said...

Alisha, you've been raised of goodly Mothers and GrandMothers! (and favorite Aunts) I definitly wear a corsage! A lady in my old ward always had a real big red rose one and I always pointed it out to My Hubby, My first corsage was when I was 5 months pregnant. Since then there are times when I have "pick it up" at the grocery store while I'm there the night before. Other times he's remembered. Last year I was at Costco, saw the beautiful bunchs of 20 roses so I called my Hubby and asked if I should pick up my Mother's day flowers? Since there were so many, I took a bunch to my older sis. who's a florist and had her make mine, her's and my Mother's.

My Hubby makes dinner on Mother's day which I am greatful for (unless he's expermenting on a receipt) what I enjoy about the "Day off" is not feeling guilty about not doing it. Most years special gifts are either bought by me or more of a promised desire for something. This year will be different. I asked for a weekend in Salt Lake with my old collage roommate (a true break!) Since the plane tickets are purchased there's no backing out!!

I think it's important for all to stop and realize all that Mothers do. I spend all day with my 2 3yr olds and arguing with my 10 yr old daughter and my hubby wonders why I'm strung out at the end of the day? If he has them for an hour or 2 the house is a dissaster and he's begging me to come home NOW!

It was very interesting to hear there was some meaning behind different colors and types of flowers, since my Mother past a way this year maybe I'll request a pink and white combo? I think that would be a good honor to both.

Judy Ethington said...

I love a couple things about my husband and children remembering the corsage (it trades off who remembers). One, it was a tradition, since my Granny Jo ALWAYS had a lovely huge orchid corsage on Mother's Day. Granted, I was kind of surprised to find out as an adult that her daughters always bought it for her, not my grandpa, but still that's great. Then my Mother had corsages, but I don't remember who got them. As kids, we didn't do real flowers, we did hand made Kleenex corsages, ceramics that we hand painted sentiments on, and odd school projects and gave them to her. They were really from my heart. I had a few of those too, and still display a couple of them. So what I'm saying is that the tradition was upheld and I loved that. Also, a corsage given to wear on Mother's Day was an expression to me and to the whole world (in my view) that my husband and children appreciated me. It made me feel beautiful in every way that day.

And finally, the men and youth in the ward in my opinion are getting it right and giving women a flower and/or chocolate instead of a pamphlet about an "angel Mother" that some relative of the wife of a general authority wrote - which only instilled guilt, tears, and at least one time that I remember, anger. It upset me so much I tossed it on the floor and stomped on it.
Such an action for a sweet, delicate flower. :)

Dallmann's said...

I find this post interesting. I don't ever remember my mother wearing a corsage and quite honestly I never knew that she should. I didn't know it was a mothers day thing. That sure would had made buying a mothers day gift so much simpler if I had only known. If I think really hard I can remember my grandmother wearing one, usually a lily.
As far as being a mother and celebrating mothers day....well I get to spend the day with my kids which means I am not at my day job and I am just hoping there is no hitting, kicking, biting or screaming going on that day. Ahh, now that would be Fabulous.

Rebecca said...

I have honestly never even thought of wearing a corsage for Mother's Day. I recall my mom wearing one once or twice when I was little and obviously I have seen other mothers wear them. If Paul got me one I would probably faint in surprise but I would wear it--even if it was not completely my style.

I think corsages are lovely... especially when the mother and the person who gave it to her recognize the significance and love associated with it.

I'll be looking for both Rachel and Alisha this Sunday to check out their corsages.

Rachel W. said...

We've always had one for my mom. When my dad was alive he always got a big one for mom and smaller ones for all his daughters. They were almost always the quick orchid ones from walmart (they still had these last year) but we all felt special. Now since it's just us kids, we make sure she always has one.

I've only been married a month but I have a feeling I'm still getting a mothers day gift. I'll be suprised if he thinks of a corsage though!

Angie K. said...

I really liked this post. I feel like I am learning lessons of formality and class each time I read.

My grandpa gets my grandma a corsage every year for mothers day. It makes my heart melt to see him carrying on this old tradition, she is almost the only woman I see wearing one at church...maybe because most the women her age are widows (thinking about that makes me sad).

I know if I asked Nick he would get me a corsage to wear for mother's day. Maybe we should keep this tradition alive in honor of my grandparents. It is so sweet.

Rachel D said...

In case you ever wondered if Ben reads your blog (I don't think you ever doubted it), YES he does. My very first Mother's Day corsage is sitting in our fridge. Pink roses (because my mother is living) and NO baby's breath. Though he said he remembered how I despise baby's breath even before he read my comment.

Janalee said...

I took note and there were several corsages in the crowd today at church. Mostly older, but a few youngers surprised me too. so that might be a fun tradition to start with the family next year, so I can join the ranks of a the classy and timeless.

Rachel D said...

I'm grateful for good friends who care enough to correct me.

Yellow flowers represent a bereaved mother, meaning that the woman who wears the yellow flower has lost a child.

Just thinking about that makes me sad. I can certainly see where women in that situation get their own color.

Also, Alisha, I checked online before posting my correction. Most lists agreed on the meaning of red and white flowers, but some lists named orchids as an all-around safe choice for Mother's Day because they are the Chinese symbol for "many children." So you can tell Justin I'm sorry about the failed orchild corsage. Though I think yours was lovely, and even sweeter that he made it himself.

After all of this, who's from the camp of "I don't care what it means...if it's pretty wear it!" Happy Mother's Day, everyone!

Anonymous said...

I would gladly wear a corsage if I knew the baby wouldn't rip it off and devour the enticing sentiment the second I had to hold him! Since the Mr. always is teaching and can't take the baby --and in years past I've had to hold other people's obnoxious children on my lap during primary, I just take the bouquet of flowers for the table instead. sigh. Maybe next year.

Rebecca Larsen said...

Hey that was me!

Your Real Favorite Aunt! said...

I'm late on this post and beyond Mother's Day but have to weigh in on this one. I am truly delighted that your favorite uncle ALWAYS orders in advance a gardenia corsage for me for Mother's Day. My children have seen it every year that they've been alive. It's the one day of the year I wear flowers and I'm thrilled to wear them. It has always been meaningful to me.

My mother has always had a corsage from her children - always an orchid, her favorite flower. This past Saturday Robert picked up my gardenia and my mother's orchid and delivered them both.

A mother's day corsage is a tradition from the past and a good one. There aren't many mothers wearing them but I am always delighted when I see them. Thanks for the post.