Baby Walmart

Do you know what really upsets me?  (Cruelty? Intolerance?) -Wasted Effort.  It is because of this that I rise from the blogging grave to bring you these pictures.  She was a mere 5 months old!  She couldn't sit up straight in the cart! After making her t-shirt/costume I had to drive all the way out to Forest Grove to get a picture in the guns & ammo section of Wal-mart. (You should have seen the looks I got from women waiting in line for licenses.  Shouldn't I have been staring at them?) Whitman came along screaming and pooped his pants on the way into the store.  "When in Rome".  

 "You don't know me!!"

After all that, I didn't feel like I got the shot. So I planned to take a redneck picture of her sitting infront of the run down camper trailer that sits in a newer housing development.  Only she didn't know how to sit.  As proof of how much I love her, I didn't do it because it was turning cold outside and I didn't want her to freeze in her tank top,mini-skirt, and flops.

 A couple of months later, and colder still, I tried to make it happen in my garage.  She was confused.

Jana, always angry, accuses "so now Bumbos's are trashy??!!"  No, it's the only way I could get her to stay in one spot.  I was hoping it looked like an armchair. I was forcing it. What I really need is an old trailer!! And bottle of Mt. Dew!

My parents have an Oregon camping trailer.

I love her 5month chubby baby legs.

Ha!  Now that I've lured you here with baby in wig photos, how about you stick around to hear my opinions:
If you have every had the pleasure of hanging out with me in a social situation when Wal-mart is brought up, you already know I have strong feelings about the world's most profitable retailer.  In short: they are unethical bullies.

Almost everyone I know has a story about something terrible that Walmart has done in their community.  So why are we still shopping there?  In Oregon there are not very many Wal-marts- another reason I love Oregon!  They tried and tried to build a new store just a mile or so past our neighborhood and it took years and umpteen protests to keep them out. They recently succeeded in opening a  "smaller" Wal-mart into a struggling retail area and my blood boils every time I drive by.

I have a personal shopping ban on Walmart (that I try to persuade everyone I know to commit to).  Mostly is is because they make money at the expense of others, and hurt America over all.  I don't want even the smallest amount of my money to support their dirty business.  If I can't change laws to make some of their worst practices illegal, than at least I have the option of voting with my money. And I think Wal-mart is really starting to feel it!  (small joke)  I realize that not everyone has this luxury.  If you live in a rural area, not by accident, Wal-mart my be your only shopping option. Or maybe saving $2 on diapers isn't selling out your fellow Americans to you, but rather it is the difference between diapers and eating or just diapers. I'd pick Wal-mart in that senario.

With its low price focus, Wal-Mart may appear to help the U.S. economy. But, the reality is that with its poor wages and benefits, massive China out-sourcing and tax avoidance, Wal-Mart makes its workers and the communities where it operates poorer.
"Wal-Mart routinely dodges state and local taxes, meaning money spent at a Wal-Mart store won't end up in your community. Wal-Mart actively works to challenge property tax assessments and creates complex real estate arrangements to obscure how much taxes the company owes. When Wal-Mart dodges its tax burden, it takes precious revenues away from cities and states to pay for roads, schools and other services. In turn, individual taxpayers are forced to pay more to make up the difference (which takes more money out of their pockets) or get by with less."  from-David Nassar, "Why Wal-Mart Does Not Strengthen Our Economy"

I could go on and on.  Instead I will say how much I love shopping the fresh local produce and meats at New Seasons, the stylish and pleasant smelling Target, the Hillsboro Farmer's Market where I feel like I'm practically stealing from the vendors, Fred Meyers for a little bit of everything, and Goodwill when I'm on a treasure hunt.

Oh!  But in the same way that Hitler really loved his mother, I hear Wal-mart sells CD's with the swear words bleeped out. 

Dear Diary

I have that feeling like when you write in your journal for the first time in a year and you feel the need to re-hash what has happened and how you felt about it (and what you were wearing) but it's all too much for one entry. "Just start with where you are now" they say.

I am not sure if I am ready to re-commit to blogging, but here is a smattering of posts that I had started and never finished or things I have thought about or done over the last few months. Again, nothing is complete, I find I don't even complete my own sentences any

Here's how it's going to work:  I show you a few photos, many of which you have already seen if you follow me breathlessly close on Facebook.  I say what's in my head when I look at these, maybe even explain what the post was going to be had I finished it, and then you tell me how cute my kid is in the comment room.  Shall we begin?

Fall Fashion Trends as modeled by Violet

Ankle and mid-calf boots seem to be replacing knee high or over the knee boots.  I think they make my legs look shorter.  This doesn't mean you have to throw out your knee highs, they are a standard, but don't expect jeans tucked into knee high or taller boots to look cutting edge.

Gold.  It's everywhere.  It is not a color I can pull off on it's own, seeing how I don't have Violet's complexion but I found that it brought depth and richness to my standard gray, purple, and brown hues.


































Above: A frank discussion on jeans and jeggings and where we are at now.  Just when most of us had adjusted to skinny jeans, stores and magazines have displayed bootcut again!  And not a conservative bootcut, but rather the skin hugging and then flare suddenly out at the bottom kind.  The very jeans that I recently thought were so out of style.  With the wisdom of fall behind me, I don't think bootcut caught on big again.  Stylish women are still wearing skinny, fitted jeans.  But now you're allowed to do either, I guess.

Not shown because I never took the pictures:

-Vintage inspired black lace dress -I loved this and regret not taking the photos.

-Teal, the color-we were both going to wear it while both reading magazines.  Someday.

-Pleated shorts over stockings -something only a baby can wear.

Halloween:  Another excuse for a wig. 

Can you guess why I love this picture? Whitman is Aquaman, Justin is Sexy-(he's taken ladies)- Brainiac, and Davy is Super-thong-man.

Violet met her cousin Max, who is 6 weeks older and wiser.  As you can see, he was concerned for her comfort and welfare the whole trip.

I can't believe I'm even showing you Christmas pictures, so over it, but I have to say that I really enjoyed my flocked tree.  It was a spicy smelling fresh Frasier fur that was sprayed with whatever they flock a tree with, probably something terrible, but you don't have to water the tree or put it on a stand.  

Violet enjoyed it too.




Here's a picture of the whole tree...

Har, har.

I am still making Pavlova's and you can't stop me.



Christmas: another excuse for a wig.



New Years Eve:  What do you do if you are already married and don't drink?  Exactly.  I did decide to have a "dark dinner".  No electricity can be used anywhere in the house.  The fact that I was given two large candelabras for Christmas may have motivated me a little bit, but this could be done with sensible candles or food storage oil stuck in an old pumpkin or whatever.  We ate Thai food.  For good luck!

And Carrot Cake Cookies.  For good luck!  [I've been making this recipe for 10 years and it's golden, just as is.  Other options are to add chopped nuts, sub 3/4 cup drained pineapple for 1/2 cup of the sugar, and add orange zest to the filling.]

Finally, it snowed in my dining room the whole month of December.  I hung lightweight snowflake ornaments, maybe 2 dozen or so, on clear fishing wire attached to the ceiling with a clear thumbtack.  Magic.  But like most magic it needed to come down in early January.

Come back tomorrow for a real Q&A from a desperate mother!

Wigs of a Feather + Complexion Vexed

Sweet, isn't it? (wait for it....)

Bonus! You also get a Q&A to go with today's post.

Dear Alisha,

I want beautiful amazing skin. What's the secret? How do I get it? It doesn't seem fair to be in my 30s and dealing with both acne breakouts and the coming of wrinkles. Help me, Alisha, you're my only hope!

Sincerely,
Complexion Vexed

Dear Complexion Vexed,

First off, tight pores and wrinkle-less skin in mostly in your genes. I have asked a dermatologist how to get smaller pores and he said "get a new mother". [I thought that was an awkward thing to say but he meant 'you can't, it's genetic'. At least that is what I hope he meant.]

Additionally, I have been in several skincare situations where everyone turns to the woman in the group with glowy, smooth, fresh looking skin and beg for her secrets, only to find out that she barely washes her face in the shower and uses no moisturizer.

Second, you can help yourself out. I turned to my sister Juliann, beauty buff and skincare enthusiast, after hearing that she has a skin care regime that has made her skin look better than any time in her adult life. She raves about how smooth and clear and soft it is and how her pores look smaller. She looked in to Oprah's favorite skin care products but they were over $200 a month. After much research, and some sampling of pricier products, she has come up with her own drugstore priced regime.
Here is what shes uses:
AM Routine
Alpha Hydrox Nourishing Cleanser- this is her face wash for day and night (see above)
Alpha Hydrox Souffle
Am moisturizer and sunscreen Combo- basic Oil of Olay

One small complaint, I have tried this product and it has way too much added scent for me. It made my eyes water. Are you listening Oil of Olay?

PM Routine
same face wash as AM
Alpha Hydrox Night Rescue treatment "but not in the eyes!!"
Alpha Hydrox Retinal Night Resque
Oil of Olay Night Regenerist as her moisturizer (see above)

Don't think you're done yet, twice a week she suggests exfoliating with Burt's Bee's Peach and Willow Bark Deep Pore Scrub.

She hasn't sent me pictures of her pores and proof, but this is the happiest I've ever seen her about her skin, an answer to many prayers.

Or if you are slightly rich, or have neglected your skin, try microderm-abrasion at a salon/spa. It will smooth the surface of your skin out and you can begin moisturizing anew.

There we go!

I could use a caption to go along with these darling photos of Violet and I....

Spanish Violet

I have been saving these pictures for a rainy day, or for when I have a tedious question that doesn't lend it's self to a photo. But I'm tired of waiting! I don't feel like doing the work of answering questions. Can't I have fun for once in my entire life???

Though I think she looks the most regal in the top photo, there were several more where she really shined. So much so that I'm having a hard time editing them down. She is pictured at four months old.

She looks like me, doesn't she?

Pensive?

I've said it before, but she really loves doing this kind of stuff.

First time in her Bumbo.

Initially, she was a little confused. Don't think I won't use this photo again.

Pre-wig.

How I Spent My Summer "Vacation"

I am at the end of a marathon with the finish line in sight. You see, I don't care for hot weather or children with too much time on their hands, so summer is not my season. At least this summer the weather was on my side, 70's and breezy until recently, when it's turned hot just to further my excitement for fall. I am ready to retire my position as Summer Activities Director. This week my two oldest sons start school and fall is around the corner, which is to say, I've made it. I've made it.

As a special treat, and because I love to-do lists, here is the one I made at the beginning of summer. I'd like to remind you all that I have a new baby but also an ambitious 2 year old.

Scratch that! Who really wants to read my to-do list? It was only exciting in the beginning of summer. Instead, I'll give you what you really want:

Baby Photos:

Violet soaking up the sun.

Hanging out with her BFF.

The day I was taking these photos at the park (not the beach, I totally fooled you!), BFF came too and her mom just happened to have a newborn swimsuit with her in the car and I just happened to have an extra blond wig with me. I think at first her mother was -skeptical (repulsed?) by the idea of her precious daughter in a wig, but I think they were both happy with the results.

Next to show up was the girl's (beefy) friend S.W. He knew just how to position himself.


I am including this last image, that an (innocent) bystander snapped. I love how two moms are desperately arranging wigs on their newborns.

Funny, a new mom came to the park that day. She seemed ...surprised (impressed?) with babies in bikinis and wigs on a chilly day. "I didn't know they made wigs for babies..." "They don't!" I retorted, "they're medium sized dog wigs!!" (Thanks for the tip Juli.)

Recipes:

What says 'summer indoors' more than a Smore Cookie? First my friend Melinda made these and then I had to copy her like it was my original idea. They are so good it's dangerous. I can't say enough about how delicious they are. I find regular smores too sticky and frustrating.
Recipe from Martha Stewart.

Gossip:
My sister Niki came for a visit. The one you've heard about. Pictured with her is her (3rd) husband Randy. We really liked him and hope he sticks around! (Niki- call me! I forgot how to text.)
True story: her daughter Viv came too. She's six and wears Lee Press On Nails. After she left we found tiny painted finger nails all over the house, like her own little calling card.

Advice on How to Live Better:

To cheer myself up and to keep nutty busy this summer, I threw several lunch get-togethers. I won't go into the details- that's a whole post just waiting to happen.


Reality Check:

Here's where I rant about my efforts to be a fun mom and how boys don't seem to appreciate it.

Every year I buy my school age boys a new wardrobe. I consider not just how I would like them to look but their individual tastes, what is in style for their age, and what their needs will be as far as climate and comfort. And do they thank me for my efforts? Of course not.

I have been told stories of little girls who eagerly try on their new clothes with rapture and thankfulness. This year I was rewarded with a tiny morsel. When I laid out their piles of new clothes, Davy showed a little enthusiasm and even said thanks. That sentence was pay off enough to keep me shopping.

Also, I saw this great Back to School idea on ohdeedoh.com.

Perfect! I will do this the night before school starts and start a new family tradition. The kids will love it.

This looked cuter in person.

I think this (lousy) photo shows just how excited they were. They didn't even notice. Okay, again Davy did notice that 'the placemats are everyone's favorite color', but that's it. Sure there was only one written up menu, that's because both Violet and Whitman were crying. Jana tells me that when she puts any effort into setting the table her girls eww and ahhh over every detail. What would that be like?

I did a bunch of other stuff to, but it is thankfully done and over till next year. Hooray for fall!

How was your summer?