Being born naturally beautiful can be a curse, sometimes people don't give me credit for how smart I am!
Isn't it cool when people want to brag but premise it as a complaint? No? We all have certain friends who are prone to it. I usually find it amusing and roll my eyes, occasionally it's really annoying, and sometimes I even catch myself doing it. If you're scratching your head, here's a few I've heard:
(Not said in a whiny voice, but more of an overly innocent tone.)
~(The Classic) Having a big house is such a burden, there's so much cleaning to do!
~It's so hard to find clothes small enough for me!
~I'm so frustrated! I can't find a house over 4,000 sqft for less than $900,000! (for my two children)
~It's so hard to find a trustworthy/hard working house keeper!
~Because my waist is so small and by breasts so large, nothing ever fits!
~I wish I was curvier, but I just can't seem to gain any weight. (while picking at dinner)
~I'm worried Theresa (15 months) knows all her letters but 'U', should I be worried that she skips 'U'??
~Sometimes it's so hard being popular, it's hard to keep up with all the well wishes! (That one was rephrased the protect the guilty.)
~I'm worried he might be too good looking!
~What should I do? My son is 10months old and is barely learning to walk! All our other children learned to walk by 9months. (who cares!)
~Five years of private school and my daughter still says "seen". (That was a lady who sat next to me on a plane ride once. She was priceless when it came to later imitating the "upper class".)
What are some favorites that you've heard? Are you guilty of any you'd like to confess?
I'm glad everyone thinks I'm a great cook, but it's getting hard because now people expect it.
29 comments:
I don't have enough time in my schedule for all of these guys that keep asking me out!
I've got a few...
"these jeans are a size 4 so they were way too big on me before." In all fairness I did ask if she was wearing her regular jeans two weeks after she had her second baby. Plus, she works out really really hard for the body she has.
I think I recently said something like, " I didn't even get to use the book you lent me that tells you how to teach your baby to sleep through the night. He just started doing it on his own at 6 weeks. I read that whole book for nothing!"
My favorite is when someone is complaining/bragging while simultaneously insulting you. For example, " I don't think I could ever be that poor. I just love to shop too much. How do you do it?"
Alisha has a different technique... it is a combination of flattering and insulting.
Here are a couple of examples...
"I like your outfit today."
"That haircut makes your face look thin."
or
"You must have had a mild lunch. I can't smell your breath at all."
Did you make up make up the word "compragging"? Haha, love it! I try to make a special point to comprag to someone at least once a day so people can know how awesome I am without it being too obvious that I also know how awesome I am.
PS- You remind me of Ava Gardner in that picture!
my favorite is when people say 'My child is just really bored in school', meaning they're just too smart!!
It'd be funner if people just straight out admitted what they were hinting at. "I think I'm really thin/gorgeous/rich! so there!"
I had to just ask, aren't we just all exactly the same? We all like to whine it up or down. Say, for example: you seemed to have prided on the fact that u could combine words together to make new words. Only then reveling in the sheer satisfaction that you were clever enough to come up with it, first. My all time personal favorite that I use is "I'm not beautiful - I'm plain jane but, I was asked to do a photo shoot for Ford Modeling"
Here is one & I'm actually going to just ask it: what are you supposed to say when people ask you what you do to be so thin? And you know your sisters and mom are all thin too and that you eat a lot (except it truly would be nicer to feel a little fuller in the bust)? It is very awkward to know what to say when people comment on it - especially after recently having had a baby. I'm not complaining about being thin, but it is awkward & I'd rather just not talk about it. I wish I could say I worked hard for it with rigorous workouts b/c then I'd at least be really proud of myself for it, but I think that's a weird response too.
So for those real situations that come up (like someone's friend who is a model & really was trying to downplay it) - what do you say? Just 'thank you' and leave it at that? Then quickly change the subject?
I hate the people who chronically say "I can't do (____) because I am so very busy" lame excuses for nearly everything. As if NO ONE else but them has the massive weight of having a few things to do.
Even more painful is then having to listen to the list of things to do which is generally not very interesting or impressive.
So compragging about having to much to do is annoying.
Here's one:
'I'm just so cheap, I couldn't spend the money'
.... which can read as I'm frugal, which means I'm responsible and I pride myself in not being of the things of the world, and I'm proud of it'
Probably all these things can be true and are good things, but it's funny how it just comes off better as 'I try really hard to be frugal' or different things like that.
... Sounds like we've all got 'em!
Seriously hilarious. You were born to blog, Alisha!
I do have to say, as a daily compragger, those who do it are (of course)insecure. So when others comprag I think to myself, "Awww! She is insecure just like me! She must be trying to impress me because she wants to be my friend. That is so cute :)" (I am letting you all know how non-judgmental I am while judging your judgmental-ness).
The "I'm so cheap" comprag is my FAVORITE! But I use it to hide how ridiculously controlling my husband is with the money...he's just so dang good with it though ;)
"Anonymous"- NEVER talk about your weight to anyone but your doctor! And people that think they're overweight should not talk about their weight either (especially to their husbands)!! There will always be someone (including you)that will get offended... as a matter of fact, if you're afraid of offending people never say anything to anyone again!
Oh Alisha! I was just on facebook and saw our friend's blog post (on weight) and realized I had really bad timing with my last comment! I hope everyone here knows that there is no guile behind any of these comments and I just find amusement in being obnoxiously playful!
-Cares way too much about what people think to be "Awesome".
"My eyelashes are so long that the tips of them rub agains my eye shadow and make little black dots all over my eye shadow."
Laughing Out Loud:
I got over myself when I even decided to post that comment. For reals. Had I been too worried what people thought, I wouldn't have posted it in the first place & put myself in a vulnerable spot. Although I misjudged my toughness b/c I didn't expect someone to respond like you with a belittling comment that had the potential to make me feel about yay small. You may call that 'honesty' but really, it feels like you've given yourself the liberty to make others feel small and call it 'being frank'.
I was posing a real situation that we probably all face at one time or another; when somebody asks you about something that you hear other women say 'I hate women who such and such ...' about or some other uncomfortable compliment that is more of a disgust question instead of a genuine compliment, what ARE you supposed to say? It's a real question, you can forget about my example.
And I guess Awesome had a point in just figuring you can't avoid offending people if you know you mean well (although that conflicted with 'never talking about your weight' - that means you'd just say 'I don't want to talk about it'? - which still doesn't avoid the awkwardness and I just simply want to know how to slide past that type of question without the awkwardness?).
But I think you got me all wrong and I wish I didn't let it stir me for a day or two, but I'm human.
Anyway, let's get back to Alisha's funnies. I didn't mean to take away from it all, but I speak my mind (as you saw before).
ahahahahha, good thing anonymous IS anonymous.
my compragging usually goes something like "oh, i hate that i can't were trendy clothes at work without everyone staring, why can't other engineers have style?"
Dear Skinny, I think you had a valid question. It's just a problem the rest of us dream of having.
Okay, I have known women who with out any effort were so thin as to be too thin. They sometimes felt bad when other women went on about their weight. I would say if women ask you about it, to be frankly honest. "I know I'm thin. It was how I was made, I don't even have to try". If they persist or are a hint confrontational you could add "I'm thin enough to be self conscious too".
In fact once in college I had a friend who was very, very thin, as was her husband, ask me in all earnestness, "so how DO yo gain weight"? She came to me for advice on the matter!! BTW I said eat more and start baking.
Anonymous- I should have been more sensitive to your question (why did you delete it? You're completely anonymous!) since it could have been something I could have written... except for the fact that both of my parents are morbidly obese so my time is coming.
I usually try to play it off with humor. It can sometimes backfire, but I think people are more forgiving to the lighthearted...? Since breastfeeding made me 20 lbs skinnier than before I had a baby (don't hate), I say something like, "I know! This baby is literally sucking the life out of me!" or "Gosh I wish there was a breastfeeding pill so my butt won't get big and boobs won't shrink when I'm done"... then I giggle.
Do you live in Hillsboro? We should start a support group for skinny insecure moms. Seriously!
-Hugs to you :)
I was wondering why Alisha's blog was so quiet. I didn't realize the comment room was still hoppin'. Seems like we could use a tissue and a group hug.
One thing to consider as we comment - the people reading Alisha's blog are nearly all in her close circle of friends and family. This means that - for many of us - our paths may have crossed. Some of us "anonymous" folks are probably friends. Even those who live far away would probably be friends if we ever met in person.
Given that I would probably like you if I ever met you, I'll try to phrase my insults towards things, not people. Just something to consider.
Though maybe we come to Alish'a to let loose a little. ;-)
(This isn't a comment directed towards anyone - just an observaion based on the situation, which seems to have been resolved in a nice, happy, mature, hug-worthy way.)
Awesome - I liked your comments, no apologies needed :) (I was only pointing out that I was confused on part of your advice - that's all)
I'm sure we'd all find all sorts of things we like about each other if we each knew each other. I don't think I know anyone here, probably the reason I've allowed myself to go comment-crazy!
I know there are all sorts of other awkward compliment disgust questions posed to people about other topics :) - and even if there isn't a way to avoid a little awkwardness (after all, maybe the person asking the disgust compliment question started the awkwardness), we can just know there's not much we can do about their feelings if we know we've done nothing to bring the topic up/rub it in their faces or things like that - and we could always just end it with a compliment to them.
A skinny insecure club would be funny!
Am I going to have to write a post about how weird my comment room is getting? What is this an episode of Dr. Phil? (If so, can I be Dr. Phil?)
You guys, I'm not really very sensitive. Really! And I don't expect you to be.
Thanks for all the comments. And you can keep making them if you want.
Dear Justin, I too have fallen prey to Alisha's cunning compliments. A few I can remember off of the top of my head.
I would describe your lovely outfit as "romantic" all except your shoes, those are "frumpy"
You look so good in plum, so good you should never wear green again.
Wow! (stunned and amazed while looking at an old family picture) you were so thin.
That was actually funny.
Which reminds me that my daughter must have learned from the master.
"Is that you when you were pretty Mom?"
"I wish I had big buns like you"
Justin, Bekah, you guys are mixing compragging with Back Handed Compliments, that's a post for another day.
Alisha,
Where ever did you find those animal print pillows? They are absolutely precious. Precious. Do you know whether the series features other animals? Otters perhaps, or my favorite, the mighty Beast of the East, the Yak.
I would also be interested in finding a similarly themed pillow series featuring anthropomorphic fruit, such as a Rolly Polly Pear, Angsty Apple, or a Tumultuous Papaya. Do you know where one might obtain a product line like this?
Love the blog! Plenty of humor and great advice!!!!
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