Dear Alisha,
I have a friend who is constantly reminding me that she and her husband makes 'a lot, a lot of money' .. but it seems every conversation we have, she manages to incorporate this statement into every topic. How do I shut her up?
Friends in high places
Dear Friends in High Places (we'll call you FiHP),
I can't tell you how much this question delights me. I'm almost giddy typing my answer! Your friend is practically begging you to ask how much she makes. She is dying to tell you and she wants you to be impressed. Is she a close friend? She could just be really excited about a new raise. But most likely she wants to brag and make herself feel accomplished. To show such vulnerability, such desperate need for approval, gives you the upper hand.
If I were you I'd enjoy it. This rarely happens and you are already taking the high road by not reminding her of how rich you are (I assume). If you really want her off your back, just ask her in private next time she brings it up "oh, so just how much do you make? Really? And do you hate taxes like all rich people"? Okay, leave out that last sentence. She just needs a figurative pat on the head for her big income. It will be all the sweeter if she and her husband don't make very much money. (Snarkle, snarkle.)
I love this subject because I love it when people brag about money and I love to find out how much money people make, rich or poor. The bragging is delightful because it's such a taboo subject and a true brag shows, like I already said, the braggers need for approval and praise. Oh we are so impressed!
It's not just me, everyone wants to know what other people make. I like to know rich incomes, though rarely shared, because then I figure "okay, that's what it takes to live like that. What would I do with the money?" Or if someone makes less money I have more admiration for them, like "wow, they are really good at budgeting, I want to know their tips". Or "remind me not to ask them out to eat with us at an expensive restaurant". It also lets me know what people prioritize. If they make a smaller income but have a decent sized house it shows they are thinking long term and want to have lots of kids. Or if they make a lot of money and live in an apartment but drive really nice cars I would think they are thinking short term but like to look impressive.
So as a treat to me, and to all my readers, in the comment room tell me how much money your household made last year. You and your significant other combined, if that applies. Or you could say: me $20k, him $15k. Get it? I assume all comments will be anonymous but won't complain if they're not.
I welcome all other comments on this subject as well. This had better be good!
61 comments:
At one point, I seem to remember you saying something along the lines - "tell me how much you make and how much you weigh, that's all I really want to know." So yes, perfect question for you to answer!
As far as our household.....you're not getting the figures out of me! Let's just say we're more on the "good at budgeting" side of things.
Him - 70K. Her - $0
i dont see why this is so taboo...bc you can easily figure out what someone makes (at least within a range) based on where they live and what their profession is...we all know teachers are WAY underpaid and other professions are WAY overpaid, it's not a reflection of who the person is.
last year i made around 68k. 'him' is/was in grad school, so he only worked part-time or not at all, but i am guessing it was around 20k last year.
ok, now everyone judge me!
150K combined
Him - 136K, Her - 0
are we talking pre or post tax?
Him - 48k. Her - 24k. :)
combined: $50K
As far as my household is concerned since my husband took a 20% pay cut 2 yrs. ago and last Oct. he was cut back to part time. Suffice it to say we are realy good at budgeting! My priorities are more on a nice comfortable house I can be proud of but don't need to brag about.
I know the problem though. I have some friends I grew up with that have wealthy incomes some flaunt it, what's that word Alisha "combrag" this same friend also is constantly trying to get something for nothing. Some others are just as well off but don't try to let everyone know it.
So often when someone is wanting people to think they are rich they realy aren't quite as it seems! Asking them how much $ they make might make them shut up. But them how do you know they're telling the truth? Tell you friend that next time the subject comes up how much you admire people who are rich but purposely keep it to them selves!!
ok, nothing fabulously exciting to report here. no surprise that i made almost 7k in 2009 as a student.
however, just to show how much i love that we're answering taboo questions, i will post my weight (as prompted by carolyn's comment":
155.
I'll do one better (well, in the spirit of bragging and all). . . I'm going to post two numbers and you'll have to a) figure out which is my weight and which in my household income, and b) who I am. . . (aren't you just itching to figure this one out?!!):
175
103
Let the guessing begin!
I might have given away the answer (that is the answer for "b", which in turn will answer "a") by my brain dead grammatical errors, so we shall see how this pans out. . .
Together we made about $15k with two kids. We are really good at living poor, not budgeting. (how's that for combragging) My husband is in school so being poor isn't a long term plan. I love learning how much people make and what they do so I know what needs to be done to live how I want. Peoples weight I don't care about
We make about 90K. And since this is anonymous I weigh about 10 pounds more than I would like but feel I would be judged a combragger if I said this to my friends.
I'm in heaven. Keep it up!
375K+
I'm rolling a the floor and LMAO!! Love the response!
Who's the teacher making 68K and complaining?
My weight and household income are the same. Maybe this is the one time I wish I weighed a little more.
Just to clarify, I'm rolling around LMAO at Alisha's response to the question..brilliant! Not at anybody's income.
i'm not a teacher genius, i said teachers are underpaid.
Oooooh Alisha I know your penchant for guessing what other people make so I can just imagine how happy this post must make you. :)
None of these numbers have any relevance unless they're accompanied by family size, what your job is and other juicy variables.
Now I'm as nosy as the next person, but here's why it's wiser to keep your income to yourself. Say you make X amount of $. And you go and buy something. People are going to whisper and raise their eyebrows 'I don't see how they can afford that on their income!' or 'They make plenty, and all they got was that??!' or say you give a gift, 'Those cheapskates - they make plenty of money' or 'They can't afford to be giving us a full-service china set!' Do you see the problem here? now of course, it's their own problem for assuming and judging in the first place and if you don't care about that, then don't worry about it. But you have to realize it goes on.
Even worse are people who constantly complain about money, but then are always talking about going out to eat and all the foolish ways they are blowing it. Nobody feels sorry for you and nobody's going to give you a hand-out, the more you whine about it - is that what you're hoping for?
And finally, the people who obviously have lots of money but they like to 'come down to your level' and complain about it just to be 'one of the guys'. You're not fooling anyone. If you have money, you probably worked hard to earn it, so revel in it. Don't pretend you're a coupon clipper too. straight out say, 'Thank goodness I don't have to clip coupons, that'd drive me nuts!' That's the kind of person I find refreshing.
Income is extremely relative. To take the edge off when comparing against friends and neighbors, enter your amount into this website and see how you compare with the rest of the world.
Global Rich List salary comparison tool
The persona that makes $375k what do you do? I need to get my husband into that line of work.
All of you who know how much you make in a year are amazing. We've never had a consistent year. Yes, my husband has kept his job no cut backs and it isn't a fluctuating job just weird things happen. We make anywhere from 45k-65k. I always try to budget for the later and when we get paid some extra something always comes up to make it go disappear.
I'm with Carolyn--you're not getting either # from me... but to satisfy your craving to know Alisha, we're also more on the "good at budgeting" side... except sometimes we're only mediocre about it (aka, not compragging).
Oh yeah, and about my weight, let's just say T and I won't be sharing jeans anytime soon.
Alisha - are you going to go back via Google Analytics/SiteMeter and track Anonymous visitors....hence unveiling their anonymity?
You sneaky devil, you.
MMW, yes I have google analytics but no, it doesn't even begin to tell me who leaves anonymous comments. The most details I get are how many people visited by sight during per day, what areas of the country I get visitors from, and if they were directed from another sight. So it tells me squat as far as guessing who left what comment.
To all those who used their real names to say "I"m not going to tell you!!", why don't you just tell me anonymously? We need some balance to the previously mentioned numbers.
Let me also add that the analytics are not specific, example: 68 people visited my sight on Jan. 14th, 22 were referring from janaleesworld.blogger.com, and most of m visitors were from Oregon, 2nd from Arizona. That's it.
I don't want anyone getting paranoid that I know how to track them. (I wish.)
Oh, P.S. I find it interesting that you didn't post your own figure (giving you one of those looks with a singly tilted head, raised eyebrows and a fake-closed mouth smile).
Great post Alisha.
For the record, I have sufficient for my needs...
And Jana, do you really clip coupons?
I make 50k when you add up all the food stamps, WIC, medicaid, low-income housing, and various other subsidies. Milk the system, baby.
I thought about this a little more, too. I don't want to know someone's income because I know a girl who expects everyone else to foot the bill, always has to find the cheapest deal on EVERYTHING (to the point of swindling someone out of money deserved). Now I think "you cheapskate" about her. Everyone loves a good deal, but it bugs me to know someone's income and see how they cheat people out of deserved money when they can afford to be a little more generous.
Ksenia, who says I haven't told you my income anonymously?
Rebecca L., nice thoughts, but telling your income anonymously will not make one a money grubber. But it will satisfy my curiosity.
Wow! 375K+! Dang, Alisha, you are RICH!
Not brave enough to own up to your income? Or you understand the reasons for not telling it all? I see it both ways. Janalee makes some good points. Also, old habits of budgeting die hard, even when you no longer have to budget nearly as much. Plus, budgeting is just a great way to get richer in the first place, and to keep having enough when you get "rich". (A relative term, again)
BTW - about $200
K
I agree with Justin, even though my household income was 375k+ last year..i have friends that are millionaires, who have friends that are even in those billioniare club, those who have feng shui masters following them
.im the bottom of their totem pole. Unfortunately we're not surgeons or doctor's who own any Med practice...this number can be zero the next day...and that's corporate world.
I agree with Justin, even though my household income was 375k+ last year..i have friends that are millionaires, who have friends that are even in those billioniare club, those who have feng shui masters following them
.im the bottom of their totem pole. Unfortunately we're not surgeons or doctor's who own any Med practice...this number can be zero the next day...and that's corporate world.
Okay...I'll stop being the paranoid party pooper.
delete delete delete.
BTW, at a quick glance I thought the image to start off this post was a picture of Renae Ellis - dancing around in floating dollar bills.
Here's a funny story for every one to get a good laugh at. So my well to do friend is best friends with this Guy who is from Taiwan. He's in this club where they own homes at prime real estate all over the US. My friend tells me..she was invited to hangout with them in aspen...she was so afraid to break even a glass. ..cause it was hundreds of dollars, the patio furniture was like 5k a chair, you get the picture. my friend proceeded to ask me, guess why he joined this club? Can you guess? ....... so that his family get a taste of how American's live!
There go the days of begging for comments..
As I've thought about your post, what I keep thinking is that I'm not impressed by how much money people earn, but by those who manage their money really well. Specifically families who buy modest homes and make it a priority to pay them off quickly.
I used to babysit for a man who made about 60K, stay-at-home wife, four kids, paid off his house in seven years. Then he had more discretionary money than many families with higher salaries AND had the peace of mind of owning his home outright.
Combined we are at 90k. And I clip coupons. Does the money I save from clipping coupons add to my actual income... I think it should. Ok, maybe not.
him: 72K
her:7K, on the side
Your income is my income.
45-50k, in school, and working too much.
I weigh 110.
I make about $18-19K and he makes $23K, plus we make another 4K together from a home business. We both work full time and are not students. I think everyone who makes less than us are students...but we own our home, drive cheap cars, and budget, budget, budget. We have what we need, and though I sometimes wish we had more (okay, often), we are happy and love our jobs.
Living here on the Navajo Rez where things are very hard to come by I have made over 35K in self employment within the past 2 months and my husband a cool 109K also doing computer tech work through self employment..who knew 3 years ago we were milking the system, now their double dipping into our hard earned mullah..
Navajo Rez .. what do you mean double dipping into your hard earned mullah? Do you get tax harder b/c you milked the system 3 years ago? Are they that advanced in technology to know that? Just curious...
I agree with Jana's comments. It gets old to hear someone who buys really nice things complain about their income - now if they got laid off and already had some of those nice things, that's one thing, but I never understand it when someone who just spends a lot complains how little money they're getting. It makes it seem like they think they deserve more than others and what they've got isn't good enough for them.
Him - 60k, Her 15k with part time work
1 child, small-medium 3 bdrm. home/mortgage to grow a family in
Greatest. Post. Ever.
When we first got married, The Internet Treasure Chest (what Greg used to get his internet store started) flew us out to Phoenix, AZ so Greg could be in their infomercial as a success story. He doesn't use that company anymore and I think they got sued for being over hyped and ineffective. They had Greg brag about how much he made in sales and not profit. Big difference... but since you didn't clarify I'll say that we are millionaires.
WELL, I JUST HAD TO GET IN ON THIS.
I WILL FILL IN ALL THE BLANKS.
HE IS A POLICE SGT. $110K
I AM A ,MEDICALLY RETIRED POLICE OFFICER AND NOW A STAY AT HOME MOM. $155K BUT I HAD A TON OF BACK PAY DUE TO AN ACCIDENT.
A NORMAL YEAR FOR ME IS $65K
I WEIGH 155
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