Monday, June 14, 2010

Not Your Typical Stalker.. No, Really!

Dear Alisha,

Many times on Facebook I like to look at old friends profiles because I'm curious to see what they've done with their lives etc. I'm friends with people I went to JR high, high school, college etc. Sometimes when I'm looking at their profiles, I come across other people I would consider to be acquaintances - I still remember them but I would feel silly requesting Facebook friendship. Still, I am curious to see how they're doing as well and many times will look at as much of their profile as their security settings will allow.

My husband says it's weird and stalkerish. Some of my girlfriends and I joke about it but freely acknowledge we all do this. It's not like I'm intentionally doing this. The person with whom I'm friends will post something interesting that appears on my newsfeed so I start looking at that and before I know it, I'm looking at someone else's photos!

Where do you draw the line when it comes to looking at Facebook profiles? Does this seem weird or creepy to you? What level of "stalking" is acceptable?

Sincerely,
Not your typical stalker

Dear Creative Stalker,

Do you think even the creepiest of stalkers think they are creepy? I bet they all think they have a good reason and it makes logical sense to them. What's the big deal?

Seriously, we all do this. It is not as if we are peeking into private lives that do not wish to be exposed. Everyone knows when they post information or pictures on facebook that it up for public viewing. If it was private they should not post it.

I for one appreciate the new feature that allows me to take a glimpse, with photos, of someone that I might know a little bit, but not enough to be their "friend". I can look, think 'huh, that's what happened to her', and move on with out an awkward should-I-invite-her-as-a friend-debate. The only problem I see with it is that it can be a big time-waster.

This should make you feel better: is there anybody out there that does NOT do this? Don't we all like a little stalking? Now kindly reveal your favorite person to stalk in the comment room....

7 comments:

Erica said...

Psssh, that’s lazy stalking. To do it right you then have to Google the friends names, go to their company web site and see if and where they are listed, call their work number in the middle of the night to hear their voicemail, check any accessible public records/offender registries, reverse look up their phone number to get their address, find their address on Google maps (once you get to street view you may as well be in a trench coat crouching behind the neighbors car), then repeat for their spouses, and/or children.

Rebecca said...

It just sounds like natural curiosity. I wouldn't call this stalking and I'm "guilty" of doing it myself. I have a few facebook friends I have never met and don't personally know. For example, one is my husband's high school friend who probably just figured he would actually get to see more family photos and get more updates from his old buddy's wife.

Barrack said...

George and Sarah

Darell Lee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rachel W said...

Now let's all search for Darrell Lee on Facebook...

Darell Lee said...

If it wasn't permitted, they would then have had it blocked from public viewing, or better yet never have out it in facebook to begin with. I sometimes feel awkward about looking at people's pics in facebook, but then I stop to remember why I put my pics in facebook. It's not a bad thing to look through somebody's pictures, and yet in thus day and age there are some complete nut jobs out there. I wouldn't worry about them because chances are, you wouldn't befriend them, and surely your friends wouldn't either.
The biggest thing you should be concerned about are the photos YOU put out there. Do YOU think you want someone looking at your 80's hairdo, puffy shirt you wore because it was cool back then? Or perhaps that embarassing moment someone "pantsed" you at the Highschool prom? I know, I for one, wouldn't. But I do know I am proud of my wife and my kids. I know I'd like the friends I went to school with to see how much I have changed and that I now have a wonderful family. I don't mind people seeing that my beard was once dyed blue (I know, I know...but it WAS for charity). Maybe it's worth taking a peek...you never know.

Anonymous said...

So i realize this comment is way old, but I have to say in regards to old pics there is one standard people should respect. If you are going to post ancient pictures of other people and tag them, you should get their permission first. Some people do not want old pics posted. Perhaps you don't care what people think of your old pics, but others might. This is especially true if you are not also in the pic you are posting. Do NOT go find the most hilarious pic from 10 years ago and post it....that just starts a war