Showing posts with label gift-giving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gift-giving. Show all posts

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Gifted








I'm in love and I don't care who knows it.
That's how I feel about the interior of these latest treat boxes. And just like true love, I can't even play it cool and pretend to be neutral. Remember how I said not two weeks ago that the red and white candy cane striped boxes were my favorite?

Well, they were superficial- looked good on the outside, nothing special on the inside.
My new love looks decent enough on the outside:



Yet I'll admit maybe the red and white are more eye catching initially, but it's what is inside that counts.But what is inside the pretty boxes, you ask? Clockwise from the top: Mexican hot chocolate cookies, peppermint brownies, orange shortbread snowflakes, and cranberry cashew coconut bars.

What? This doesn't fascinate you? A quick and slightly dull Q and A then.

Dear Alisha,

Am I lazy to be giving kids all gift cards for XMAS, especially when they are all ages 9 and below? Some suggest I buy something small and add a gift card. Really, anything small is at least $3 to $5. I'm imagining when they get the gift card, they probably be happier if I combine that few dollar to the gift card instead. And if your answer is yes, what do you suggest be great gifts for boys and girls ages 9 below.

Sincerely,

Many Kids to Shop For

Dear --what do I call you? Lazy but Kind Shopper?

I love gift cards. I love them for myself. To me they're better than cash because cash I might be expected to do something practical with. But this isn't about me. My own children started liking gift cards at around age 8. They, or he, since I only have one child that age, grasped the concept and looked forward to picking out their own toy.

Recently my 5 year old was given gift cards for his birthday and I was surprised at how apathetic he seemed towards them. I tried to make it interesting for him while at Target picking out a gift. As a mother, I love it when my kids get gift cards rather than large, noisy gifts that will be a chore to find a place for.

Here's my advice. Don't give a gift card to anyone under 5. Age 8 and up, it is a very good idea. Between 5 and 8 is a grey zone. All kids like the little go-along gift. If you are so inclined, just buy something silly. I hate it when people give my kids candy. Enough already. Other options if you don't want to send an actual gift, contact the parent ahead of time, ask them if it would be okay if you sent them cash or a gift card so they could pick out a toy their child would really like. As a parent, I wouldn't mind that at all as long as it wasn't a last minute request.

As there are a few other mothers who read this blog, maybe they will throw out a few other ideas or share their opinion. Hopefully with out fights or accusations, ladies.

I fear this discussion did not reach you in time.


Monday, December 13, 2010

Balding Gift Giver


Dear Alisha

I have a family member that I have always really enjoyed and get along very well with. We see each other at least once a month at various family functions as well as at each other's children's birthday parties. The problem? We always bring a gift for their children's birthdays and they have never once brought a gift for our children. I'm not usually a score keeper but it has happened several times now and I'm beginning to think they just come for the free food. Do I stop inviting them to our children's birthday parties, not take a present to their children's or just smile and pretend there is nothing wrong? And please don't recommend the third option as I am about to rip my hair out. Thanks Alisha!


Sincerely,

Balding Gift Giver


Dear Balding,

You are going to be glad that these questions are completely anonymous.

First, let me remind you of what a gift is "something voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation or expectation of a return". Thanks Merriam-Webster.

As far as I can tell, your family member is not compelling you to bring him/her gifts. This seems to be your own choice. So that leaves the second part of the definition, "without compensation". If you are expecting something in return, like a another gift, you are not a gift giver.

Maybe your family member can not afford to give a gift to each extended family member at their birthday, or maybe they think that the whole lavishing children with gifts things is over done, maybe they really are coming for the free food. (Ha! I've never met one adult who actually likes attending kid birthday parties. Most consider it an act of charity.) Maybe they really are being selfish. Or maybe they have been taking your "gifts" for what they are suppose to be- a considerate act given out of the goodness of your own heart, without the expectation of return.

What ever the case, the problem lies with you. You don't need to "smile and pretend that nothing is wrong" because nothing is wrong. I will concede that often when you give a gift it is common for the receiver to reciprocate. But that is not a requirement. Maybe this relative of yours keeps thinking, 'sure, these gifts are nice, but when is Balding going to catch on that I don't want to exchange gifts? I keep not giving her kids gifts and she keeps lavishing them on mine."
That you would consider ignoring or not inviting a family member you enjoy over a difference in how you prioritize gift giving seems really petty.

In short, the problem is yours. Stop giving gifts or learn the true meaning of giving. It will be a good lesson for you kids too, so don't even try to mention their hurt little feelings. Their feelings will only be hurt if you let them think they have a reason to feel jilted.

You're welcome.