Dear Alisha,
How do you accommodate vegetarians at your dinner parties? Or do you? Do you prepare both meat and meatless options? Or just one main (meat) option and make sure there are enough sides for your vegetarian to fill up on? Are you careful to make sure your soups and sides are vegetarian-friendly (no chicken or beef broth, no bacon, etc)? Do you talk to your vegetarian friend about the menu ahead of time and let her decide if she wants to eat a bit before she comes? And will you please ask your vegetarian friends to reply about what they most appreciate when they come to dinner parties?
Sincerely,
Meat Eater
Dear Meat Eater,
Mmmm, isn't meat good? How I cook depends on the vegetarian in question. I usually speak with them and ask them what they do and don't eat. When in doubt, I make sure I cook my side dishes with vegetable broth, not meat broths. If there is just one vegetarian in the family, I usually serve a meat and a non-meat option. (Why should the rest of us suffer?) If the whole family is vegetarian, I usually serve a meatless meal. In a larger buffet setting, I would have both meat and meatless options. I should also say that I don't invite over vegans- too many rules!
I should say I usually don't mind cooking vegetarian. But it I'm feeling meaty, I think twice before inviting over a vegetarian.
Okay vegetarians, what do you most appreciate when invited to a dinner party? Should we cater the menu around you?
9 comments:
Being a vegetarian I must first say how deeply touched I have been by people going out of their way (Karen Wilde, Taryn Rhodes, Alisha Garrity, and now that I live in Utah, my Mom!) to make sure that I had meatless options. It means a lot to have someone ask me ahead of time about my preferences. For thanksgiving my Mom used veggie stock and she made sure there was a salad just the way I like it as well as plenty of sides (I made two of them myself.) And that's another point I should make, don't be afraid to ask a vegetarian to make a dish to bring for themselves especially if you just can't come up with a meatless meal (which for meat eaters can be challenging.)
Before I was vegetarian I invited some friends over for dinner and forgot that she was a veg and I felt terrible. Lesson learned, when inviting anyone over always ask about eating preferences, allergies etc. And if you think that is too much trouble, then you shouldn't be having anyone over because you aren't meeting all the requirements of a good hostess.
So...is one the requirements of a good "vegan" hostess to have a meat dish for any carnivores at her dinner table?
My brother and his girlfriend are vegetarians. I know they really appreciate not having to scavenge around to find the meatless options. They don't live in the same state as most of my family, so when they come to visit for a few days no one really minds cooking with out meat. We find things that everyone likes and skip the meat. meatless chili, lots of veggies (obviously), meatless lasagna (or pretty much any Italian with red sauce). This year they are coming for Christmas and on Christmas Eve my mom makes tamales and chalupa. My mom makes vegetarian tamales and makes sure to have some beans (no lard) separated out of the chalupa meat for them.
I do have to admit that sometimes it has been annoying to me to have to accommodate a whole meal for one or two people. Anytime I go to someone's house to eat, that is a vegetarian they don't make a meat meal for me. I know, I know, it is different. I just remember one time my mom had made chicken noodle soup for my whole family (there are A LOT of us and it takes a lot of time and effort to make homemade chicken noodle soup). She made a separate pot for my brother that was meatless and made with vegetable broth. I mentioned how nice it was of her to do that to my brother and his reply was, "yeah, she should have. she made all of you dinner" He was not appreciative of her hard work and consideration at all! He was just focused on himself. That put a sour taste in my mouth. I realize that that is not something that would happen everyday, it was just annoying.
I don't think not calling someone before hand to check their food preferences makes you a bad hostess. Didn't peoples mothers ever teach them to eat what was being served?! Next week I am hosting a baby shower for my sister-in-law where breakfast will be served. I definitely did not call all 85 people that are invited to see what they will and won't eat. That being said, i do try to accommodate my guests and choose foods they I know they like.
I have a friend who is a vegetarian and for the longest time I didn't know it because she would invite me over for dinner or bring me dinner and her meals always included meat. She was being considerate and feeding me what she thought I wanted. However when I found out she was a vegetarian, I felt awful - like she thought I expected her to compromise her values for my sake.
Though I often cook with meat, I also eat meatless. But most of my meatless meals look more like veggie plates than entrees, so I don't feel they're up to par for company. When I try to think of meatless entrees, I don't really know where to start and when I look in vegetarian cookbooks they often include specialty ingredients that I don't have, so it's just overwhelming. Anyway, my point is that I would appreciate a vegetarian serving me her meatless fare because I'd love to be exposed to more recipes that I might enjoy but wouldn't otherwise think to cook.
As for me cooking for vegetarians, I would try to accomodate (though I've bothched this up - more about that in a sec). I would never expect a guest in my home to compromise deeply held values. I don't drink alcohold and would never drink wine in someone else's home just to be polite. I hope a Jew would never eat bacon, or a Hindu eat a hamburger, just as I would respect a vegetarian's decision to not eat another living creature.
That being said, if you're a vegetarian and I ask you ahead of time what you do and don't eat, please tell me! Eggs, dairy...give me all the details. The only time I got bugged was when I asked, got a "polite" answer, then found out the dish I'd stressed about didn't really fit my guest's preference.
Being a chef, I deal with this a lot. Alisha, you seem to handle the situation perfectly. I try and make as smooth as possible. Switching broths or stocks in sides is not difficult, and I find it usually pretty easy to make a very small batch for the few vegetarians at the table. If your entree is stuffed chicken, prepare stuffed squash in the exact same manner, or stuffed bell peppers, go out of your way as little as possible. The prep for veggie anything can be just a few simple steps different than the meat eater version.
I think if you invite them, you should have the courtesy of making one of the entrees vegetarian along with a green salad.
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