No More Paper Plates

Dear Alisha,
When I married, I did not register for any serving dishes, china, table linens, etc. Young and penniless, I needed a can opener and a toaster far more than fine silver.

Eight years later, the only servingware I have is a glass cake pedestal and a punch bowl. I run with a crowd of ladies who care about presentation. *ahem!* But I don't own enough pieces to put together a nice table setting and it's stopping me from extending dinner invitations.

What serving pieces should I buy? I'm on a budget and need to add one piece at a time. What do you use most often? Or find you simply *must* have? I'd appreciate any suggestions about color and/or material as well (silver platter, white cake pedestal, black table runner, etc.).

No More Paper Plates


Dear Paper Plates,
This is why if an engaged couple asks, and they never do, I tell them to register for basic china or silver serving dishes. You'll find a way to afford a can opener if you really need one, but when can one go and by pricey china? But let's focus on the now, and there's good news. I received lots of serving dishes and 3 full sets of china, service for 12 each, when I was married. And do you know what I use the most? The plainest, white set of dishes with a gold rim. I use it ALL the time, it goes with everything, I can throw it in the dishwasher and I'm not nervous about setting it in front of a child. At the time it cost $15 a box, for service for 4. Sure now I would prefer it with out the gold rim, but it does not stand out.

With that in mind, I want you to run, don't walk, to Target tomorrow morning because have they got a deal for you. A caters box of 12 plain white plates for $15. You're set. But wait! It gets better! Many of the dishes including plain plates are included in their Christmas Clearance! While you're there and if you're feeling $10 richer, buy the salad plates to go with them. You won't regret it. Not just for salad, they're great for desserts or buffets. I can't tell Target's plain white plate from Pottery Barn's or Crate and Barrel's. They all look good but come in at different prices. If for some reason this doesn't work out, start looking at boxed sets. They're usually a good deal even if you don't really need the mugs and saucers that come with them but once a year for hot chocolate. In the future if you want to jazz up your plain plates, you can mix colorful salad plates or napkins in with them.

I don't want you to worry too much about serving dishes. You can still entertain with out them. Just plate the food before you serve it. In a casual setting, eating family style is also acceptable. But do start asking for that kind of thing for Christmas from your mom or Grandma. Trust me, they like buying it for you and it usually works out better than something like clothes. I like a sliver serving plate, a white or clear glass bowl, and maybe a tray or large plate of some sort. They don't need to be expensive or a certain brand. We won't get into linens right now, that's a different upcoming post. If you need glasses, think basic again, and Target has a 12 pack for $10.48.

Lastly, a sad but true story. In my newly married ward, a girl registered for china that was $279 for EACH setting! She scraped together all her friends and gifts and ended up with 3 settings. So sad. Her heart was in the right place, she wanted to entertain nicely but could not invite more than 1 single friend over at a time. Imagine the pressure on that friend! "Can I help you clear the dishes?" "No! NO! Just leave the plate on the table and scoot away!"

In short, buy plain white plates tomorrow at Target and let me know what time dinner is.

Note that in the following photos a white plate is the basis for each setting:

Muppet Glam

After considering the economic turmoil of so many friends and loved ones this year, were any of you tempted to celebrate Christmas in a more demure way? Similar to how the Oscars were more toned down after 9/11? If I had toyed with the idea, I was persuaded otherwise by this guy:

That's Scrooge from The Muppets Christmas Carol. A charming, wholesome movie that reminds one of how current movies are lacking in moral substance. If you're unfamiliar with the story of The Christmas Carol, for shame, here's a summary: Scrooge starts off a stingy, heartless Republican, is visited by 3 Christmas ghosts, and then turns into a Democrat. Along the way are various Muppets cracking jokes and singing Socialist messages, like this song sung by the humble Tiny Tim "Bless us all, that as we live,We always comfort and forgive. We have so much, that we can share with those in need we see around us everywhere". So you see, when Scrooge had a change of heart, he threw a big party. Not demure.

I really enjoyed Christmas decorations this year. Unlike the past few years where they seemed like a hassle, I enjoyed putting them up and I like the way they complimented my home. But! I already had ALL my decorations from years, past. I just used them this year. And all I had to buy was an extension chord for the outside lights. (No wasted money Jana!) I didn't even have to buy cards, as I bought them after Christmas clearance last year. Here's where I WOW you with impressive photos, but do to a "reformatting memory card" error, most were deleted. I'm bitter but here's what I've got:

kids dinner table

You'd be really disappointed if you knew what was in the boxes.
Ornaments for the adults, dollar bills for the kids*note that all the glasses contain chipped ice. Nothing but the best.
Yeah, Brooke came over, she said her ornament made her whole Christmas.sparkly babbles

I can't seem to take a picture of the tree that captures it's grandeur.

dream house

Dear Friends

(yes, I've used this photo before, lay off me!! I'm in a time crunch here!)

Dear Friends,

I just counted up how many families I'd like to drop off treat boxes to, and it's staggering. I included next-to-my-house-neighbors, the ladies I visiting teach, my husband's home teaching families, my good friends, people who are new and I'm getting to know, and friends who I think are expecting it. Don't ask which category you fall in. All in all, it's nearing 30 families. What am suppose to do? Give each family a cookie to share and be done? I have my reputation to think about! By chance, are any of you swearing off sugar for the holidays, and thereby allowing me to scratch you off my list? Are any of you willing to let me off the hook?

This is impossible,
Alisha

p.s. Just so you know, I am keeping a photo journal of holiday treats delivered to me. Look forward to a post about that, with commentary, in the near future.

Coolidge Cunnundrum, A Rock and A Hard Place

Dear Alisha,

Suppose Mariah Carey and some other male famous country singer moved into your ward (I know! So cool!) and joined the church. And circumstances arose and you had to have them over for a party. Which of the two would you choose to perform?

Coolidge Cunnundrum

Dear Coolidge,
Sounds like someone knows me.. And finally! A question with relevance!
I think it depends on which male country artist it was. I'd enjoy the Johnny Cash type but Kenny Ch. would cause me pain. On the other hand, is there ever a good time for Mariah? I find her music as distasteful as her image. It took some effort just to find a picture of her this covered up, plus I hear she can be quite the handful. But I don't like rednecks, twangs, or ignorance, which rules out most country music. Still, I'll roll the dice with a male country artist and hope for someone bluesy.
Is there anybody out there still listening? This is so self indulgent.

Compragging

Being born naturally beautiful can be a curse, sometimes people don't give me credit for how smart I am!

That's complaining + bragging. (Is bragplain any better? Do we like Complagging better?)

Isn't it cool when people want to brag but premise it as a complaint? No? We all have certain friends who are prone to it. I usually find it amusing and roll my eyes, occasionally it's really annoying, and sometimes I even catch myself doing it. If you're scratching your head, here's a few I've heard:
(Not said in a whiny voice, but more of an overly innocent tone.)

~(The Classic) Having a big house is such a burden, there's so much cleaning to do!
~It's so hard to find clothes small enough for me!
~I'm so frustrated! I can't find a house over 4,000 sqft for less than $900,000! (for my two children)
~It's so hard to find a trustworthy/hard working house keeper!
~Because my waist is so small and by breasts so large, nothing ever fits!
~I wish I was curvier, but I just can't seem to gain any weight. (while picking at dinner)
~I'm worried Theresa (15 months) knows all her letters but 'U', should I be worried that she skips 'U'??
~Sometimes it's so hard being popular, it's hard to keep up with all the well wishes! (That one was rephrased the protect the guilty.)
~I'm worried he might be too good looking!
~What should I do? My son is 10months old and is barely learning to walk! All our other children learned to walk by 9months. (who cares!)
~Five years of private school and my daughter still says "seen". (That was a lady who sat next to me on a plane ride once. She was priceless when it came to later imitating the "upper class".)

What are some favorites that you've heard? Are you guilty of any you'd like to confess?

I'm glad everyone thinks I'm a great cook, but it's getting hard because now people expect it.

Guilt Decorating

She's really asking for it.

Dear Alisha

Here's the deal. I adore my mother-in-law. Really! She might just be my favorite person in the world to talk to. We get along really well. But we live in different towns now, and when she comes for visits, she's usually here for days. (That's not the problem.) When she is here she ALWAYS, and I do mean always, either buys decorations for my house or brings things from her house to decorate my house with. She and I have very different styles, and while I know that she means well, it's awkward, (and a little hurtful), to have all this stuff (that I don't like at all) positioned all around my home without my input.
To complicate things, she is also very sensitive, and I know if I talked to her bluntly about this, that things would be very different between us for awhile.
Please advise!

Less-is-more

Dear Lessy,

This is your fault. Your MIL sounds nice. It's your fault for not being honest with her in the first place. Now it will be very hard not to hurt her feelings. You're going to have to be nice but firm. Compliment her up and down but let her know that you would like to establish your own design identity. Taking down the things she gives you won't be a hint enough.
I've seen many confused, unattractive houses cluttered with accessories given to the owner by a well meaning family member. Guess what? If you keep putting up the junk, they'll keep giving it to you! The next time they come across a discount ____,(decorative key holder? inspirational wall plaque? woven mexican blanket? framed copy of "Footprints"? vinyl letters spelling 'Believe'?), they'll think "hey! Old Lessy eats this stuff up! I should pick it up for her as a welcome gift for my next visit...!"
So stomp on your MIL's heart (with care) or live in a house you don't like.

P.S. My short answer would have been "grow a pair"

Does anyone else want to give Lessy suggestions of how to tell her Mother In Law?

The Skinny

Hey, that could be a photo of me up above, (but it's not, and she's plus size).


Remember about 4 or 5 years ago when "skinny" jeans first reared their ugly head? Most of us cringed, but then a brave or foolish few tried the trend. I remember seeing these stuffed looking women and feeling a bit sorry for them, like they were fashion victims, and why would they want to do that to their bodies? Myself, I bought one pair. They fit great but I never wore them in public. Fortunately, the trend seemed to fade. I packed up my one pair, and most of us returned to bootcut/full leg bliss and pretended it never happened; we never really considered wearing tapered, unflattering pants out in public.

But the fashion forward have pressed on. And now? Skinny jeans are everywhere. They are officially in style, widespread. At high schools everywhere, everyone is wearing them-regardless of their body type. The slender and plump alike wear jeans that are suctioned around their calves and ankles. What's more, I'm starting to like the way they look. I'm willing to over look their flaws. (Such as emphasizing thighs and hips or playing up the "tomato on stilts" look.) When I see bootcut jeans now I think they don't look as stylish and the bottom of the pants look excessive. (And don't even think about wearing flares.) One more way to know they're really over with? Think of all the frumpy, "I'm a mom" women you know.... even most of them have replaced their mom jeans with a dark wash bootcut. That's the last nail in your coffin bootcut.

I can hear you all protesting, a little sob in your voice, no, no it can't be. Skinny jeans are just so unflattering. Everyone will see my thick calves. Relax, we'll all get use to it. And in another 12 to 15 years flared jeans will start showing up again and we'll think they're ugly, but because we're older and wiser now, we'll smile and enjoy the ride.

In a related note, I was asked this:
Dear Alisha, What's the difference between "skinny" jeans and tight jeans?

Uncomfortable

I'm pretty sure my husband asked that question. But my answer is tight jeans are tight around the waist and skinny jeans aren't. Besides that, it's a matter of taste and judgement.

Oh, what finally won me over to skinny jeans was the shoes. There are so many (strange) styles this year that only look good with a narrow leg. I like the way jeans look tucked into tall boots and I think they might even be flattering if done right. I'll do a much-needed boot post another day.
See these ridiculous shoes? They just wouldn't look right with a fuller leg.
To build confidence in us all, the featured photos besides my own feet are plus sized models wearing skinny jeans.

Classy, huh? Just when you thought I was being sweet.

Polly Party

New Years 2001, getting crazy mormon style

I think this next question is very important:

Dear Alisha

I want to throw a Holiday party of about 4 couples. However, our network of friends is quite extensive and intertwined. How do I go about inviting just a few with out damaging friendships? Should I just invite everyone and have a sloppy party that everyone can come to? My heart is set on a small and intimate but is that even possible?
HELP!

Polly Party

Dear Polly-Go-Lightly.

I can tell I already like you, you like to throw parties. With out a doubt I have this to say: THROW THE SMALLER PARTY! Why?
~Your friends are mostly likely grown up, understanding adults. If they aren't it's time for them to learn.
~These same friends probably do things with out you from time to time.
~ One should not throw a (large) party out of guilt! (unless it's for me)

Now here's where I get preachy. Large parties have their place, each year I attend a large Christmas party that I look forward to all year, but small parties have many exclusive benefits (like a credit card?). Here's what I mean, with a smaller party you can put more detail into the party, as hostess there isn't as much crowd management but more time for you to sit down with guests, and you can serve dinner (there is dinner, isn't there?). Also when one is invited to a smaller, more intimate party, one feels specially chosen and more likely to reciprocate.

If you are concerned, you might want to drop the hint to you specially chosen guests by saying something like "join us for an intimate evening" (and try not to make it sound suggestive) or maybe mention that it will be a small party when handing the invite. If I was invited to a dinner party (please!) I would know not to go blabbing to everyone we knew about it because dinner implies not a large crowd. Are we clear? I think I know who you are Polly Party, and if I find you throwing a large party, I'll tell on you.

For inspiration I included a few party photos. I've thrown a lot of smaller parties but it's hard when you're the one hosting to make time to take photos. So next time you're invited to a party I throw, take my picture!

My question to you is What size Party is your favorite??


Don't be mistaken by the calm faces, my Grandparents, Great Aunts, and parents know how to party it up!


Me at an Easter themed dinner party. (really I just think my hair looks good)

Think Inside the Box

I've had a couple of questions along these lines:

Dear Alisha
Similar to your post from "Trying to be Jolly", we also give gifts to friends and neighbors. These gifts are usually baked goods--but GOOD baked goods (okay, maybe not as good as yours, but still....). Anyway, I need help in the packaging department. How can I best package these baked goods beautifully...and affordably too??

Pinching Pennies

or
Dear Alisha
Where do you get your darling baking/confection wrapping and presentation items from?

Mine looks like 2nd grade crafts

So to answer, I buy most of my packaging at The Decorette Shop in Tigard. Located in a run down strip mall, it's a treasure trove of baking supplies inside. First some philosophy: I like the food/treats to be the star, so I keep things simple. I don't want it to look like a craft project, but some simple ornamentation can enhance the appearance of the goodie. (Funny, I don't mind the word goodie, while I sicken at the word "yummy"). Nor do I want any part of the gift to look to "handled".

I most often buy plain box in white, pink, or natural cardboard. These are only $.65. The nice part about a plain box is the reveal. The receiver opens and gasps, "...for me"?

Then there are window boxes, they are a little harder to find but at the Decorette Shop they are $1.05, cheaper than most other places. At Micheals they are sold in the candy making section. The window tantalizes the receiver with what awaits. See lemon and amaretto bars peeking out?

On a sad note: if you look at the above photo, the cranberry cashew bars on the right are sitting in white SQUARE baking cups. Their simpleness made them perfect for almost everything and I bought and used them in bulk. Here's the sad part-they are no longer being made. Trust me, I've checked. A fill in is the square, fancy low cups on the right. They're not as versitile and cost more.


These are my go-to bags for cookies, they cost $.45. Note the spectacular cookies threw the peek-a-boo window.

Then finally, this is probably your cheapest option: the clear plastic bag. It can be used in a variety ways. Here I cut an attractive piece of paper to show off a giant sugar cookie (man, that cookie was goooood), tied with a nice ribbon. A bag of bags runs around $2, so they're cheap.

Here's a little one with a single cookie, folded over with cute paper and stapled:

And here it is housing caramel apples:

Just remember, the food inside has to be good. Please, no corn syrup covered cereal or stale cookies. (I'll still eat them on a rough day.) And don't skip me this season because of this post!! Does anyone else have any easy ideas?

My Day in the Sun

Dear Alisha,

Are you trying to copy Janalee and have a funny/insightful/pioneer-y blog like hers?

Signed,

Doubtful

Dear Doubtful, Okay it was me that asked that question!!

No, I could never compete with Jana. I don't think writing is a strength of mine, I'm much better in person. But millions of other people have boring blogs so why not me too?! (For the record, I had the ask-a-question-box first but was doing nothing with it and Jana asked if she could put one on her blog, like I owned the idea.) That said, I have a different, less patient more showy personality and it's... My Day in the stupid Sun.

Let's try another question WARNING: this one is really boring.

Dear Alisha,

To mitigate concerns regarding the confidentiality and integrity of the data communicated over our wireless local area network, is it really cost effective for a small business to implement full IEEE 802.1x mutual authentication or should we adopt 802.11i and focus on strong encryption algorithms, such as temporary key integrity protocol (TKIP) and Advanced Encryption Standard (AES)?

Thanks

Glen in Coolidge

Dear Glen

If you are that concerned, maybe you should use a wired network.

Trying to be Jolly

Let's take a question, shall we?

Dear Alisha,

Christmas is around the corner. Our family likes taking small gifts to

our close friends and neighbors. I know homemade edibles are the typical

gift, but don't we already get plenty of sweets around the holidays? Plus I

hate baking. Do you have any non-food gift suggestions - things I can make

in bulk at a reasonable price?

Signed, Trying to be Jolly

Dear Jollies,

I'm so glad you asked!! I love that you're looking for a small gift other than mediocre baked goods. As much as I love them, I'm always sweeted out each Christmas to the point that I swear I'll never eat another cookies again. Right about that time the doorbell rings and a dear friend drops off a tub of corn syrup and candy covered breakfast cereal and we start all over again.

That said, don't be angry, but my first few suggestions are still edible:

~Fresh salsa-with or with out chips. Someone please do this!!! When I'm sweeted out from my own baking, I'd love to have something fresh, involving vegetables, that won't require dirting up my already in use food processor.

~Something pickled or canned. Sure you're cooler if you pickled the asparagus yourself, but you could buy it (or olives, pickles, etc.) put your own label on it, and the receiver would enjoy a non-sweet delicacy at their convenience.

~Simmer Sauce. Don't turn away! Aren't we all looking for different ways to get excited about chicken? Once again, you make it yourself or try a few from a store like TJ's and then pick your favorite and make your own labels.

~(non-edible) Christmas Ornaments. Duh.

~(non-edible) Faux cookie Christmas Ornaments. Like these

They're felt and you could deliver them on plates or single packaged like a cookie. It's the packing that would really sell it.

~(non-edible) Christmas CD. I've had friends deliver a favorite holiday song. Very thoughtful, I really meant to listen to it.

Finally, let's hope our comment room has some ideas. Come on! I'm not crafty! You should have asked this question to someone like Rachel D.!

Hair at Night

Don't be scared! It's not as bad as you think. A few nights ago I was trying to sleep but kept coughing and went into the bathroom to find Justin hacking away at his hair with texturizing sheers. Amused and alarmed I warned "cutting your own hair (hap-hazzerldly) will not turn out good"! He said "you're not even going to be able to tell". Hair covered the counters and floor like freshly fallen snow. This picture just shows the bulk deposited from scissors. The next day I checked-out his hair, and yes, it still looked overgrown and thick. Had I not happened on the scene, I never would have known. He would have cleaned up 90% of the hair and I would have been left to wonder.

Oh, and this is the first of what's sure to be many posts on hair.

Odd Things At Target

Seriously. I can't wait to play with these after the kids go to bed. Justin will be Edward and naturally I'll be the Barbie that looks just like me!! I feel like I can really relate to her...

Only the lonely.